radio WRSN

Here I am. Rock me like a hurricane. I guess you’re just what I needed. Was it you that said- how long? Take me on. I’ll be gone.
Welcome back to WRSN- the raisin. You’re listening to Stapler Hits with yours truly, the Lady of Spain. We are talking live with the man who invented the pause button.
Lady: Please tell us your name
Nic: I am Nick L. Platid and I invented the pause button.
L: Now was that very hard? I mean where exactly did the idea come from?
N: Well Lady, I was puttering around my kitchen trying to make peanut butter evaporate when I realized that putting eggs in the microwave would be much more exciting that say, a gumball. So as the egg was cooking I turned my back and heard this tremendous explosion.
L: And it was the egg.
N: No it was my neighbor blowing up my mailbox again.
L: Oh
N: But when I did turn around the egg was all over the inside of the microwave. I put another egg in there to see what had happened but once again a big explosion made me turn around.
L: Your neighbor again?
N: Yes. You see since he blew up my mailbox last week I had a second one installed. And a third one. And a fourth. Every time I tried to cook an egg he’d blow one up. You’d think he would have left me alone after I walled up his bathroom in brick, but NOOOO. It’s alright though because next week I’m going to paint his house so it looks like a jet and then-
L: Could we just get back to your invention?
N: Oh right. My invention. Well since I didn’t get to see what happened to the egg, I figured out that if I had a button to pause things I could see it as it happened. Unfortunately pausing life turned out to be harder than I anticipated so I began with books.
L: I see.
N: Whenever I got to a good part in a book I would crazy glue that place so I wouldn’t lose it.
L: Uh huh
N: But that made so much of a mess no one wanted to carry it in their store. Not to mention that incident with the forklift driver. Do you know how expensive a forklift is?
L: Well no.
N: And don’t even get me started on dry cleaning. I think they raise their prices just to annoy you. I have a plan to get them good though. See if we all just had plenty of red paint and a waffle iron-
L: Pardon me, Mr Platid but if we could get back to your pause button.
N: Yes of course. I had little sucess in book pausing so I moved on to sound pausing. I found that by covering my ears I can effectively pause all noise in the world.
L: I think I see where this is going.
N: Yes. Sadly my ear muffers did not sell as well as I had hoped. But finally I came up with a way to pause everything.
L: You’re kidding.
N: Nope
L: So how does this one work? Covering the nose and mouth? By going in a closet?
N: Don’t be ridiculous. It is a pause BUTTON. And I brought it with me.
L: You did?
N: Yup. I’ll show you how it works. You see you just press it-

Due to technical difficulties and the fact that everyone at WRSN is now paused, we will not be broadcasting our local turkey polo game. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

Nice to be here

I am here, either alone or with myself. You may check out what I say if you are interested and if not you may go scuba dive, or whatever. I am going to say some things that make hardly any sense and some things that make no sense at all. Ready? Go!
So have you ever wanted a plush ebola toy? Well neither have I but apparently you can get one if you order certain products from ISC Bio Express lab products. They also offer black death, flesh eating, sleeping sickness, and common cold toys. The common cold is pretty darn cute, all shaped like a stubby flower with little eyes and a nose. I don’t like the rest of them much. Ebola looks like a worm and black death like a black cucumber. Ewwww! Okay back to washing lab glass.