Here I am. Rock me like a hurricane. I guess you’re just what I needed. Was it you that said- how long? Take me on. I’ll be gone.
Welcome back to WRSN- the raisin. You’re listening to Stapler Hits with yours truly, the Lady of Spain. We are talking live with the man who invented the pause button.
Lady: Please tell us your name
Nic: I am Nick L. Platid and I invented the pause button.
L: Now was that very hard? I mean where exactly did the idea come from?
N: Well Lady, I was puttering around my kitchen trying to make peanut butter evaporate when I realized that putting eggs in the microwave would be much more exciting that say, a gumball. So as the egg was cooking I turned my back and heard this tremendous explosion.
L: And it was the egg.
N: No it was my neighbor blowing up my mailbox again.
N: But when I did turn around the egg was all over the inside of the microwave. I put another egg in there to see what had happened but once again a big explosion made me turn around.
L: Your neighbor again?
N: Yes. You see since he blew up my mailbox last week I had a second one installed. And a third one. And a fourth. Every time I tried to cook an egg he’d blow one up. You’d think he would have left me alone after I walled up his bathroom in brick, but NOOOO. It’s alright though because next week I’m going to paint his house so it looks like a jet and then-
L: Could we just get back to your invention?
N: Oh right. My invention. Well since I didn’t get to see what happened to the egg, I figured out that if I had a button to pause things I could see it as it happened. Unfortunately pausing life turned out to be harder than I anticipated so I began with books.
L: I see.
N: Whenever I got to a good part in a book I would crazy glue that place so I wouldn’t lose it.
L: Uh huh
N: But that made so much of a mess no one wanted to carry it in their store. Not to mention that incident with the forklift driver. Do you know how expensive a forklift is?
L: Well no.
N: And don’t even get me started on dry cleaning. I think they raise their prices just to annoy you. I have a plan to get them good though. See if we all just had plenty of red paint and a waffle iron-
L: Pardon me, Mr Platid but if we could get back to your pause button.
N: Yes of course. I had little sucess in book pausing so I moved on to sound pausing. I found that by covering my ears I can effectively pause all noise in the world.
L: I think I see where this is going.
N: Yes. Sadly my ear muffers did not sell as well as I had hoped. But finally I came up with a way to pause everything.
L: You’re kidding.
L: So how does this one work? Covering the nose and mouth? By going in a closet?
N: Don’t be ridiculous. It is a pause BUTTON. And I brought it with me.
L: You did?
N: Yup. I’ll show you how it works. You see you just press it-
Due to technical difficulties and the fact that everyone at WRSN is now paused, we will not be broadcasting our local turkey polo game. We are sorry for the inconvenience.