I visited some libraries a week or two ago to see what they were like. Here is what I found.

1) Berlin, NY
A nice cute little library with character; it has a one-room-schoolhouse shape and carpentry wood built look. There is a tiny second floor loft that overlooks the first floor. It would be a nice place to cuddle up with a book for an hour in the afternoon.

2) Petersburgh, NY
The building was boxish and old-looking. Not very big, but seemed to have a decent DVD selection. Several people were there asking after DVDs. This library is hard to see from the road. I found it accidentally when I pulled into the town hall parking lot to check my bearings. It was next to the town hall which is obvious from the road.

3) Brunswick, NY
Now here’s a library that is easy to find. Off by itself in a wide, neatly-paved parking lot, the building looks clean, modern, and well-lit. This library is just a bit bigger than the others I visited on the same day. It has a nice kids section with lots of goodies: yarn and knitting kits, ‘how to’s, prominent books about girl adventurers, dear America books, encyclopedias, crayons, and round colorful pads for little kids sit on. I would love to visit this place with a kid in tow.

Songs: Sequence Erase
I have the instrumental version of Sequence Erase in my head after watching the ‘pilot’ from 1999, which is really just a intro and an outro set to music. There is no episode in the middle. But I love the song. So funky. Such a driving tension throughout. I love the mounting horns and especially the one horn (sax maybe?) that plays opposite against the others near the end of the song. At end of the song the electric guitar does this high-pitched two note thing that reminds me strongly of a very intense part of the overture of Jesus Christ Superstar, which I love.

Acting: Eaglebones’ heavy sighs
Remember Kif Kroker? Any Wong’s boyfriend from Futurama? He was always sighing at whatever stupid thing Zapp was saying or doing. Eaglebones sighs a lot, and he has that exasperated sigh nailed.

Supershow Villain: Dr Eva Mudlark
Mudlark is by far my favorite bad guy. She’s so quirky and hilarious; like she’s living her life normally and just happens to be doing evil sometimes. She reminds me of Dr Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. Like Doofenshmirtz she makes the Aquabats wait to be bested by her- first while she monologues, then while she takes a time-out to answer a phone call. And just like Doofenshmirtz, she has a ready backstory to explain her gleeful embrace of evil.

Previously on the Aquabats! Supershow!: Featuring the following bizarre clips; the word ‘Now’ with a bug taped to someone’s arm, and an Aquabat blinks and turns into a female Aquabat.

Somewhere…in a spooky graveyard…
(Several of the Aquabats are seen running and screaming however Eaglebones is just walking. We see a pumpkin-headed creature chasing Jimmy, who sprays water at it.)
Ricky: (revealing himself under the pumpkin head) Hey come on, Jimmy, you got me in the eye! You can’t use your water finger- no fair. (calling out) Ok! Jimmy’s it!
Eaglebones: Guys? I don’t think it’s right that we’re playing pumpkinhead tag in this graveyard.
Ricky: Yeah, but you guys were like- ‘I’m scared I’m so scared!’
MCBC: Ok, ok. Let’s just get going. I’ve got a game to finish anyway.
Crash: Hey where’d you get that food?
MCBC: (mouth full) I found it on that grave over there.
Crash: Sweet! (Runs over to grave bearing the name Bob Higginsbottom)
Eaglebones: Commander that is so not cool. You shouldn’t take offerings for the dead that don’t belong to you.
MCBC: Don’t worry Eaglebones. This stuff is still fresh. And besides all these people are prettty dead.
Crash: (crash touches the grave and gets oranged by slime) Eww gross! This stuff is freaking me out. Get it off. GET IT OFF!
(Jimmy tries to get it off and succeeds in getting some into a lab sample container)
Ricky: Nasty what is that stuff?
Jimmy: I’m not sure, but we need to get it back to lab so I can run some tests.
MCBC: (sarcastic) Yeah, let’s get going before we get attacked by ghosts.
Crash: Ghosts? Get me outa here! (Runs over to the door of the battletram) Hey guys, we should go.
Eaglebones: Wait. Do you guys hear that?
Crash: Cut it out Bones, you’re freakin’ me out again.
MCBC: Come on guys. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as ghosts. Bwahaha!
(They all hurry on board the battletram- Ricky last)
Ricky: (as a mysterious chill breeze blows past him) What the? Whoa.

Faux-Mercial:
Mummy spray- send those mummies to the tomb!

(Back inside the battletram, the Commander plays a video game involving snakes and badgers.)
Eaglebones: Commander, I’ve been sensing great unrest in the spirit world ever since we left the graveyard.
MCBC: Shhh, not now Eaglebones.
Eaglebones: But, Commander! I know that there’s been some-
MCBC: Oh! (disappointed) You made me lose another badger!
Eaglebones: But Commander-
MCBC: Wait! Eaglebones, I’m sensing something.
(Eaglebones nods eagerly)
MCBC: I’m sensing, that you’re gonna go get me a cold drink. (Eaglebones sighs and walks away.)
MCBC: (to game) Start!

(Over in the laboratory, Jimmy checks the substance Crash found. Under the microscope, it appears as tiny green floaty sheets- itsy bitsy ghosts!)
Jimmy: Just as I expected!
(Jimmy turns away and when he turns back, a number of books have become stacked all by themselves. The stack is covered in orange slime.)
Jimmy: Very odd. (Lights flicker overhead)

(Back in the media room, Jimmy addresses the others.)
Jimmy: Fellow Aquabats. I’ve completed testing on the unknown orange sticky substance we discovered in the graveyard.
Crash: Yeah, what was that stuff? It tasted like barf.
MCBC: Wait, you ate that stuff?
Eaglebones: Ewww…
Crash: No!
Jimmy: That sticky substance is ectoplasmic residue.
Crash: Ectospastic what?
Eaglebones: Ectoplasmic residue. It’s what’s left behind when spirits pass into this mortal realm. (his voice gets a bit Shakespeare stage actorish)
Ricky: What are you guys getting at?
Jimmy: Well Ricky, let’s say a spirit is like like a small snail-
Crash: I hate snails.
Jimmy: Crash, please listen. When a snail moves along the ground it leaves a shiny trail of slime. Ectoplasm is a shiny slime trail left by-
Crash: A ghost?
Jimmy and Eaglebones: Yes!
MCBC: For the last time- there’s no such thing as ghosts. Now if you dudes could just let me-
(Lights flicker and go out)
Crash: What is HAPPENING!
(Jimmy uses his finger as a flashlight. He finds the control panel and flips a switch back and forth, which gets the lights working again. Lights back on, everyone is startled to find that all the media room chairs have stacked themselves into a structure.)
Eaglebones: Guys. The battletram is haunted!

Jimmy: Ok guys, we need to split up, find this ghost, and find out what he wants from us.
All: Right!
Jimmy: These modified night-vision goggles will record whatever you see and send it to me.
MCBC: Alright. Let’s do this!
Crash: Guys, you may not know this about me, but ghosts really freak me out. I’m starting to get a little scared. (Lights flicker and wicked laughter is heard) Ah!
MCBC: We better get to work. You guys split up. I’ll stay and watch in here. Go! (The others leave) Now where were we? Oh, yeah. What’s up snakeazoids?

(Jimmy examines the lab again.)
Jimmy: (With hand held monitor) Yes. Very close now. There you are. (The ghost materializes from greenish fog as a prospector-type and lunges at Jimmy, cackling. Jimmy screams.)

(Crash checks the hallway)
Crash: Oh man. I see fog. That can’t be good. It’s probably just a mouse. Or a bird. Rattling a chain.
(The prospector ghost appears in front of Crash, scaring him so that he runs through it and gets slimed. Now slime-covered, Crash hides in the bathroom.)
Crash: Jimmy, if you can see this I’ve been attacked by the ghost. He was big. And he was scary. And he got slime all over me. (Unintelligible)

(Ricky investigates the sleeping quarters.)
Ricky: (sees the ghost as a green girl) Whoa! Guys, Jimmy, I see it. It’s a beautiful lady ghost. Look. (Turns the camera apparatus to view the ghost) Excuse me miss. Do you like um..pizza? (The ghost pulls a sheet over herself and throws the rest of the bed sheets around the room.) Whoa! What is going on in here?! (Ricky removes the sheet only to find the prospector ghost- NOT the female ghost. Ricky screams and bolts into the hallway.)

(Ricky knocks on bathroom door.)
Crash: Oh no. The ghost is back.
Ricky: Crash, I’m not the ghost! Let me in!
Crash: Oh sure! That’s exactly what a ghost would say. You can’t fool me. Ghost!
Ricky: Crash, come on. It’s your old pal Ricky Fitness. Let me in.
Crash: Alright. Ok.
(Crash opens the door for Ricky. simultaneously, the ghost appears between them, scaring both and causing Crash to hide in the bathroom again. Inside another door Ricky finds -a cartoooon!)

It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When we last left the Aquabats Jimmy the robot was captured by the underwater king beneath the surface of the moon.
King: Your friends aren’t coming for you, Jimmy, they’re leaving you behind. You will be my servant ok? Ok. Ima take a nap- don’t try to escape or nothings.
Jimmy: If my friends aren’t coming for me, what is friendship?
Narrator: Watch out Jimmy. It’s a musical number!
(Very short song about friendship)
Jimmy: (asking a small bird who has flown in the jail window) What is friendship?
(The bird nestles up to Jimmy, receives a shock that scorches him black, and leaves, frowning)
Narrator: Bummer. Meanwhile the Aquabats race to save Jimmy!
MCBC: Ok. Now. All we gotta do is park this thing on top of the dome of that underwater city thing…wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it! WAIT FOR IT!
Narrator: (as the sub cracks the glass) Uhh that’s pretty close.
MCBC: Wait. For.! IT..! (the sub actually pushes through the crack in the dome)
Narrator: A breach in a city’s dome!
MCBC: Perfect!
Narrator: Whoa that’s some drop! Ride the flood! Lookout! That’s some fancy submarine driving Eaglebones.
MCBC: Set a course for that castle. I have a hunch that’s where we’ll find Jimmy.
Narrator: Will the Aquabats find Jimmy before he short circuits? And what happened to the underwater king?
King: Uhh I’m ok. Ima taking a nap.

(In the media room, MCBC continues to play his video game.)
MCBC: (while wearing ghost-vision goggles, he notices green prospector character in the game) That guy’s new. (Realizing he’s seeing the ghost) Uh oh.
Ghost: (appearing as a gremlinish face) Get out!!
(The ghost grabs MCBC by biting him and pulls him into the television set.)

Bat cartoon:
Lil bat eats onions, then gets eaten by an onion, which blasts into space.

Eaglebones: Commander, this book says if a ghost appears to you it’s because it wants something. Commander?
Ghost voice: Get out! (Lights flicker again)
Eaglebones: Angry spirit. We mean you no harm. What is it that you want from us?
MCBC: (voice only) Eaglebones is that you?
Eaglebones: (addressing television, which is all static now) Commander? Are you in there?
MCBC: Yes, help me! Get me out of here!
Eaglebones: Stay there. We’ll get you out. (He leaves)
MCBC: Stay where?! Where am I?

(Back to Crash who is still hiding in the bathroom)
Crash: AHH!! Ok, Crash. It’s just you. (Knocking) Leave me alone!
Eaglebones: (with Ricky and Jimmy) Crash it’s us. The Commander needs our help.
Crash: Well how do I know you’re not a ghost?
(Eaglebones gives another Kif Kroker type sigh, and all three leave)
Crash: Yeah that’s what I thought. Ghost face!

(Back in the media room)
Eaglebones: Commander I found Jimmy and Ricky. Are you still in there?
MCBC: Yeah, I’m here. Help me outta here!
Ricky: We’re gonna try, Commander.
(Ghost laughs)
Eaglebones: That ghost must want something bad. But what?
MCBC: Hey I can see it. Aahh, the ghost is here with me now. Wha -wha huh? The graveyard? He’s telling me to go back to the graveyard. What burrito? Oh yeah. Sorry. Uhhhh!!!
Eaglebones: That’s it! The Commander must have eaten that ghost’s burrito.
Jimmy: Of course. And now he wants us to make things right. (Pokes screen) Here! This is the hole to the other dimension. Aim right here.
Ricky: (preparing rope with shoe anchor) Commander, catch this shoe and hold onto it.
MCBC: Ok. Ouch. Ya hit me right in the neck.
Eaglebones: Hold on tight commander
All three: 3,2,1 Pull!
(All four ‘Bats land in a pile)
Ghost: (sticking his head through the screen) The burrito!
MCBC: Ok, ok, jeepers. Aquabats to the graveyard!

(At the graveyard)
Eaglebones: Spirit of…Bob Higginsbottom. We return what was rightfully yours. This fresh handmade burrito-
Ricky: with fresh healthy veggies!
Eaglebones: With fresh healthy veggies. And this large cherry swordfish slooshy from gas town.
MCBC: (Aside) That I had to pay for.
Eaglebones: Please return now and rest in peace.
Ghost: (appearing as prospector) Hey thanks a lot guys. I feel a whole lot better about everything. And I want you boys to realize that these things are my personal property. THIS is my personal property. 1!2!3!4! (Ghost launches into a metal song- Personal Property! Which terrifies the already nervous Aquabats. After the song he disappears.)
MCBC: Let’s go.

(All except Crash play the badger/snake video game in the media room.)
MCBC: Is he still in there?
Jimmy: Yup!
(They laugh)
Crash: I’ve been in here for hours. No one is alive but me. The ghost ate everyone. Everyone! I’m all alone. I’m sorry for the things I did when I was a kid. Like the time I taped the fish to the television set!

Previously on the Aquabats! Super Show!:
Ok some of these are right, but others are totally random. Like a cat shooting laser eyes at a balloon.

Somewhere, at night- on a coastal highway…

The Aquabats ride in the battletram. They all text each other as the battletram goes on autopilot.
MCBC: Hey, Ricky did you get my text?
Ricky: Hahahaha! Good one commander!
(They all laugh. Meanwhile, we see an outdoor party with bonfire and music. Suddenly mummies appear, materializing from the fire, shooting orange fiery fists of light. The partiers scream and general chaos ensues.)
MCBC: (glancing out the window) What the-? Those kids are in trouble. Jimmy, stop texting and pull over.
(Jimmy stops the battletram and they all rush outside.)
MCBC: Aquabats let’s go!
(Ricky runs super fast to where a young woman in a puffy coat looks troubled. He picks her up and moves her to a safe distance, but one of the mummies shoots him with orange light, immobilizing him. Eaglebones tries his laser guitar but the mummy just reanimates after destruction.)
Crash: It grew back! I’ll get him. I’m not afraid of zombies! (Crash tries to grab a mummy, only to have it disappear and reappear behind him.)
Jimmy: Uhh, Crash? Thats not a zombie. It’s a mummy.
(Crash screams and retreats. Eaglebones tries again and accidentally blows up the partiers’ van.)
Blonde guy: Duuude, that was our ride, Bro.
Jimmy: These are some tough mummies, Commander. We better get these people to safety.
MCBC: Ok party people, everyone to the battletram!
(Bones uses a final blast to keep the mummies at bay while everyone boards the battletram.)
Crash: Let’s go let’s go let’s go!
Ricky: I’m going to the bathroom!
MCBC: (to Bones) Eaglebones, come on! (to mummies) Catch you later mummies. (to partiers) Don’t worry everyone. You’re safe now. Let’s keep this party going. (He puts on music in the media room and the kids all begin to dance. Jimmy leaves the battletram on autopilot and joins the party. Ricky comes in from the bathroom and immediately fixates on the girl he saved earlier. He locks eyes with her and the music seems to fade around them. In the midst of the dance party going on all around them, Ricky sings a suave little song to her, Hey Lady In The Corner, and, at her whispered suggestion, they leave to the observation dome on the battletram’s roof.)
Ricky: (sung) Isn’t this lovely, this lovely night?
Girl: (sung) The stars look lovely.
Both: (sung) What a lovely sight!
Girl: (sung) Come stand closer. No, I won’t bite. Listen to my song, you are under my power now.
(The girl’s neck elongates and she looks malicious and scary. Her eyes glow white and Ricky’s eyes begin to glow white to match.)
Girl: You have braces? Hey, me too!
(Her neck shortens and she looks at Ricky adoringly. Then we see the mummies on motorbikes following the battletram. The girl hisses and retreats. As the battletram kicks into battle mode, it lurches and Ricky falls off the observation area and is left clinging to a side railing.)

Faux-Mercial: Tiny Burgers, and that’s all!

(Back inside the battletram’s media room)
Jimmy: Fruit punch?
Girl partier: (nods) I love fruit punch!
Jimmy: (as battletram lurches wildly) I’ll be right back. (He takes the battletram off autopilot and notices the mummies.)
MCBC: Don’t worry everyone. Instead of tripping, let’s go beat fishing!
Eaglebones: Beat Fishin’? I hate that record. I’m outta here.
(As Eaglebones walks down the hallway he bumps into the girl with braces. She has inexplicably turned into a redhead without braces)
Eaglebones: Oh hey.
Girl: What’s that?
Eaglebones: It’s my new guitar. It shoots lasers. You wanna hear a song?
Girl: No. Do you? (She sings and Eaglebones’ eyes begin to glow white like Ricky’s did)
Crash: (trying to get by them) Oh hey, I gotta use the bathroom. (The girl hisses and runs into the bathroom) Aw man!
Eaglebones: Was I just talking to someone?
Crash: YEAH. The girl in the bathroom.

The girl enters the bathroom and opens her coat. It’s revealed to us she has three heads. They are named Quera (brunette), Hera (redhead), and Vera (salt and pepper)
Vera: Hera, you fool! Why didn’t you eat the skinny one? You had him!
Hera: I was totally interrupted by the big one. Quera, what’s your excuse for not feeding? Let me guess: He doesn’t like girls with braces?
Vera: That’s enough! We don’t have time for this bickering. The guardians have found us, so we need to strike fast. Quera, if you don’t eat your Aquabat treat, we will!
Quera: But I have- feelings. (The others give her raised eyebrows) Of…hunger.

(Outside Ricky struggles with mummies and manages to shake them off. Back inside we see the girl come out of the bathroom as Hera)
Crash: Aw thanks. I was about to lose it.
(She sings and Crash gets white glowy eyes. Ricky comes around the corner and the Quera head comes out to deal with him while Hera deals with Crash.)
Quera: There you are handsome. I thought you ditched me.
Ricky: I’m sorry I lost you. I’ve been looking for you my whole life.
Quera: You’re soo sweet.
Crash: (zombie-like) Who’s that Ricky’s talking to?
Hera: Never mind her. Let’s talk about you. What do you like most about me?
Crash: (zombie-like) Teeth.

(At the wheel, Jimmy is still trying to lose the mummies. He rams them and they fall, but they seem persistent.)
Jimmy: I better get to my lab and whip up something to take care of this mummy problem.

(Back inside the party in the media room, the battletram’s movements have disrupted the party and the siren session.)
Ricky: Are you guys ok?
MCBC: Hey everyone look. It’s a cartooooon!

It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When we last left the Aquabats they commandeered a submarine under the surface of the moon in order to save Jimmy the robot. Can them save him before he’s melted down? Can they!?
Crash: This sub is awesome. It’s got all the latest battle weapons.
Narrator: Looks like you might need them Crash.
Eaglebones: Uh oh. We’ve got company.
MCBC: Bones fire torpedoes!
Narrator: PPP What? Those aren’t torpedoes!
Crash: Bubbles? What good are bubbles? I’m going out there. I’m coming Jimmy!
Narrator: Crash launches himself at the beast and grows to supersize. Bongo on the brain! That’ll give you a headache. Oh no! Out of breathe and out of time.
Ricky: Crash!
MCBC: Ricky get out there!
Narrator: Ricky does some kicky underwater to save Crash from the clutches of the beast. Hurry Ricky! Now he’s angry!
MCBC: Why would there be bubble torpedoes? Bones, bring us closer to that lake beast.
Narrator: Uhh I don’t know I that’s such a good idea.
MCBC: Fire some bubbles at that lake beast!
Eaglebones: But Commander, it’s just bubbles!
MCBC: Trust me bones. Fire those bubbles!
(The bubbles encapsulate the lake monster)
Narrator: It was a good idea!
All: Yeah, we did it! hooray!
Narrator: Trapped in a bubble prison! Now, to find Jimmy, Aquabats. (The sub encounters an enclosed area in which they find a submerged dome.) What’s this…?
MCBC: Jimmy must be in that underwater city.
Crash: Let’s go get Jimmy!
Narrator: What dangers await the Aquabats? And what button is Ricky pressing?!

Eaglebones: What a meaningful cartoon.

(Jimmy is in his lab, when Vera enters)
Jimmy: Stop! You can’t be in here. I’m working with some very dangerous chemistry right now.
Vera: But what about the chemistry between us? (she sings)
Jimmy: Miss, this is neither the time, nor the place for singing. (Points to a sign which reads: Hazardous chemicals, no singing allowed!
(She sings again and her neck elongates. Jimmy scans her.)
Vera: Nobody withstands my song!
Jimmy: How odd.
Vera: Ladies!
(Vera is joined by the other two heads. They all sing and Jimmy looks scared but not mesmerized like the others)
Quera: Why isn’t it working?
Vera: Our song has no effect!
Hera: That’s impossible!
Vera: Let me show you how it’s done, ladies! (tries to bite his neck) It’s no use. He’s made of metal!
(Jimmy sprays her with something, distracting her, then rushes into the media room.)
Jimmy: Commander, everyone is in grave danger. There’s a hideous creature on board the battletram.
MCBC: Let’s use our indoor voices Jimmy.
Jimmy: (pounding is heard at the door) There’s no time commander. It’s right outside the door.
MCBC: Aquabats, let’s finish this! I’ll get the door. (to the Blonde Guy) Maybe you should get the door. Come on son, don’t be shy.
(Blonde presses the door button. The girl enters as Quera, looks sheepish)
MCBC: Miss, get away from there. There’s a hideous creature about to come right through that door.
Jimmy: Commander, that is the hideous creature.
MCBC: (undertone) Her? She’s not that bad.
Jimmy: I assure you, she is a nasty beast. She will destroy us all.
(The girl begins to grow angry and her coat ruffles as the heads underneath move around. She undoes the coat and all three sirens appear together)
Vera: Fools! You will pay for your insolence.
MCBC: Aquabats, let’s get her!
All three: (they sing) Attack your Commander my loves! Tear him apart!
(Eaglebones, Ricky, and Crash turn on the ‘Bat Commander and Jimmy, zombie-like. After being knocked down rather easily they seem to come to their senses. All of them fight the siren with punches)
Ricky: (to Quera) Can’t we work this out? I’m totally falling for you.
Quera: Oh Ricky, I’m sorry I tried to eat you. Can you ever forgive me?
Ricky: I already did.
Crash: Ricky!
Quera: Ricky help me!
Ricky: Stay back!
MCBC: Jimmy, we have to do something. It looks like Ricky is still under her spell.
Ricky: No commander. I’m fine. I’m not under her spell. I totally love her.
Quera: Thank you, Ricky.
Ricky: Your welcome.
(the mummies who have been following then materialize and grab the siren trio, who happens to look like Quera again.)
Ricky: NO!
(The mummies hit Ricky again with the orangey energy bolt)
Mummy: We mean you no harm, mortals.
MCBC: (stage whispered aside) Now he tells us!
Mummy: We are the guardians of the underworld. We have come to bring this siren back from whence she came. (The second mummy waves his hand and creates a bluish portal on the wall)
MCBC: (explanatory) Portal.
Quera: Ricky!
Ricky: Text me!
Mummy: Farewell, mortals.
(The mummies and siren leave)
Crash: Those mummies weren’t that scary.
MCBC: You know, that is why we should never judge people or mummies until we get to know them.
(Learning and growing moment)

(Afterwards, Jimmy and MCBC sit at the wheel and passenger seat talking.)
Jimmy: Do you think Ricky was really in love with that crazy creature, or do you think he was still under her spell?
MCBC: It’s hard to say, Jimmy. But it seemed like love- something a robot could never understand. Let’s drop our new friends off at the nearest stop. There’s one.
(New friends look a bit perplexed as they exit to stand around by nothing more than a stop sign. Inside the battletram, Ricky video chats with Quera.)
Quera: Hi Ricky.
Ricky: Hey babe. How’s the underworld?
Quera: Good!
Ricky: Awesome.

I’ve decided to try and make something of the discrepant stories each Aquabat gives as the formation story for the band. I used a system based on the plausibility of the story in question, the likelihood that the Aquabat telling the story might lie about it, and the circumstances under which the story was told. I should probably mention that these rankings don’t have anything to do with how much I like a particular Aquabat or whether I think they can be trusted overall. I’m sure they are all decent individuals. Also this has nothing to do with the actors underneath the Aquabat personas.

MCBC
believability of tale- 3
personality- 2
circumstances of tale- 2
TOTAL 7

MCBC gets a 3 in tale believability because his story falls somewhere in the middle of what I’d consider reality. People really do live on islands and could ride a wooden canoe to another island. Science exists, and an exaggeration of it might be able to acheive all the myriad of abilities that MCBC claims were granted by their mentor. The personality score for MCBC was 2; a three way tie with Ricky and Bones. As a personality type MCBC comes off as somewhat egotistical and self-centered. In my mind this makes him prone to telling tales that might show him in a better light than the exact truth. As to the circumstances surrounding his version of the origin story, they are at the bottom of my rankings. He tells the story to amuse a group of children who are young, impressionable, and probably not prone to fact-checking. The probability that anyone will call him out on the story as fraud, is very low.

Eaglebones
believability of tale- 4
personality- 2
circumstances of tale- 3
TOTAL 9

Bones receives a 4 in believability because the only part of his tale that seems truly incredible is the fact that the bar is specifically for pirates and mutants- something which I can honestly say I’ve never heard of before. His personality score is at the bottom, but this is mostly for lack of evidence one way or the other. While there is obviously a spiritual side to Eaglebones, it is unclear if this means he also has any kind of ‘code of honesty’. We know he can see fairies, and possibly other mystical beings. If any of them are the type to reward honesty and punish lies, he may be more likely to tell the truth, however, this would act as a double edged sword, making it equally likely that he might take the opportunity to lie when he knows they are not around. Bones also gets a low score on the circumstances surrounding the telling of his tale. He is certainly more accountable to his listeners (who are reporters) but at the time ALL the Aquabats have some degree of amnesia. It’s completely possible that he is telling the truth, but also completely possible that he is lying or doesn’t know what the truth is. The other Aquabats seem to corroborate his story, but they are equally compromised and could just be ‘smiling and nodding’.

Crash
believability of tale- 5
personality- 5
circumstances of tale- 4
TOTAL 14

Crash gets rather high marks based on several factors. His believability of story is the highest because it doesn’t feature any fantastical elements; it’s mainly about little kids in school. Crash also gets very high marks for personality. As I’ve stated elsewhere, Crash has some child-like qualities that make him seem a bit immature, but also very genuine. He admits his fears readily, even when doing so might subject him to ridicule from the others. I suspect Crash would have difficulty lying effectively even if he tried. Crash’s circumstancial score is near the top of my rankings, only beaten by Jimmy. This is based on the fact that he tells his story in front of the other Aquabats and the only one to give a very weak protest is MCBC.

Ricky
believability of tale- 1
personality- 2
circumstances of tale- 2
TOTAL 5

Surprisingly, Ricky got the lowest marks in all categories. To begin with, his story is not very credible. Ignoring the fact that dance gangs seem implausible, a gang is still a place to belong and feel accepted. The idea that Ricky would abandon that entirely and lose all his friends and girlfriend based on one bad dance-off seems far-fetched. I’m also not buying that busking drums in the street made Ricky enough in change to open a gym. The sheer magnitude of this discrepancy boggles my mind. His personality gets low marks in terms of believability; as with Eaglebones, this is mainly because of very little evidence one way or the other. Ricky is highly motivated when he decides to be, as evidenced by his dedication to avoiding sweets, however this is a very specific choice regarding health and it does not speak to any other particular virtue. The circumstances under which he told his story are also suspect. He is witnessed by only Rachel Moonbug, who is an adult, and capable of checking the story, however, she states that she doesn’t care about it, therefore the possibility of reprocussions from falsehood is low.

Jimmy
believability of tale- 2
personality- 4
circumstances of tale- 5
TOTAL 11

Jimmy was a bit of a mix. He gets only a 2 in terms of believability. This was mainly because I don’t buy the premise that a man who has the skills to build an android robot to emulate humanity would a) use that robot to work on a farm, and b) himself be a farmer. Yet in terms of honesty I had to grade Jimmy very high. He is a robot and as such presumably he has specific programming that sets limits on his behavior. He states that he is a loving protector of mankind, and his actions back that up. I see it as a strong possibility that honesty is included in this general benevolence towards mankind. The circumstances surrounding Jimmy’s tale are also very favorable. He tells it in front of the other Aquabats and not a single one of them contradicts him. This speaks highly to the honesty of the parts of the story that directly involve the other Aquabats, at the very least.

Conclusions:
My scoring system ranks the Aquabats in this order: Crash, Jimmy, Eaglebones, MCBC, Ricky

Using this order to determine which story is the most trustworthy places the truth with Crash, but I’d like to believe there are reasons the other Aquabats told their versions of the story. There are probably elements of truth to each story. Supposing Crash’s story to be the most accurate, we see that the Aquabats met in elementary school, perhaps kindergarten. They had a confrontation similar to what Crash describes and formed a group. I suspect that this group was short-lived, perhaps lasting only one recess. After a number of years they went their separate ways and most of them forgot about this incident (until Crash reminded them that is). They met again years later by chance. This tale works almost perfectly- almost. The narrative Crash tells includes Jimmy as a child- something in direct conflict with my next-ranked story. Jimmy claims his father built him. As a robot he would never have had a childhood as such and couldn’t have gone to kindergarten with the others. The discrepancy may be explained if we remember that the story Crash told took place long ago when he was very little. It’s possible their rag-tag group did include a child named Jimmy- just not our Jimmy. Crash’s memory on this is probably incorrect. Now we can move to Jimmy’s story and assume that he is correct, the band only found him later, after he answered an ad for a robot who plays saxophone. Looking at my two lowest ranked stories, we have MCBC and Ricky. MCBC tells a completely different story about the group of them hailing from an island paradise- Aquabania. Since this cannot mesh with the other two stories, it is suspect. My first guess was that the story was almost fully fabrication on the part of MCBC, told to quiet the kids and mainly serving to entertain rather than inform. Then again, it is a very detailed piece for him to have come up with on the fly and a stretch for him to have claimed as him own as it conflicts the other stories so completely. I have to wonder if this isn’t some older story, perhaps borrowed from his parents, one or both of whom hailed from Aquabania. We have it as granted from the first season that space monster M is a real entity bent on evil and destruction. Maybe this being visited earth in the recent past and terrorized a remote island as a practice run. MCBC’s parents would have told this story to him in order to teach him about his Aquabanian heritage. This gives MCBC some claim over the story via family history, and may be what prompts him to tell it as his own. Ricky’s story is also questionable, but since his claim includes meeting the others via his gym, it is at least possible that they may have reconnected through membership to a fitness place. This means that Ricky, MCBC, and Crash were the first three to collaborate as adults. Because I have ranked Jimmy near the top in reliability, we move back to his version of the story next. He claims to have joined the band last after recruitment and turned them onto the path to superheroedom. So we now have the trio MCBC, Crash, and Ricky first as a band to only later turn their attention towards fighting crime. Eaglebones himself claims to have met them when they were already a band, so we have some additional support for this theory. Although Eaglebones claims the idea to work against evil was his, this was either a fabrication or possibly confusion due to his memory being compromised. Jimmy completes the group then, as the final member, and we have the Aquabats we know today.

Previously on the Aquabats! Supershow!: Where do they get some of this footage? Birds eating raw meat?

Somewhere…at a local city dump…

The Aquabats face off against three monsters made of junk and greenish slime.
Ricky: Commander what do we do?
MCBC: This! Huh ya!! (He punches the monster, but his fist just sinks into it without slowing it down any. Eaglebones and Jimmy try lasers, but they have no effect.)
Crash: Get big! Get big! (Crash does not get big and ends up pushed into a pile of trash.)
Ricky: Uh, don’t look at me.
MCBC: Aquabats, let’s do this the old fashioned way. Fisticuffs!
(All five prepare to fight the trio, but are slowed down by green stank breath from the monsters.)
Crash: What is that?
(Ricky takes his chance and slips out from among the fray.)
Ricky: (thought voice) I’ve gotta help my friends. But if I help my friends I’ll get dirty too. (Sees them getting slapped by the slimy monsters) Aw man. (Gasp)
My handi gel! Sweet relief. Ahh clean!
(Ricky tries spraying the gel on the monster and it drives the monster back)
Take a bath! Stay back! You too! Yeah, beat it! Hahahahaha yeah!
The others: Alright, haha! Alright Ricky!
MCBC: Now there’s just one thing left to do.
All of them: High five!
MCBC: We shan’t rest rest until the creator of those muck monsters is found and brought to justice.
MCBC: Aquabats let’s go!
Ricky: Hey whoa whoa whoa guys guys guys. Why don’t we go get cleaned up first? Let’s go visit our old pal Trusty Dusty and get our uniforms dry cleaned. I hate to say it, but you guys really stink.
Eaglebone: Ricky the hero thinks we stink.
Hobo: Uh what’s that smell?
Second and Third Hobo: Uhhhh!
MCBC: Maybe we should go visit our old pal Trusty Dusty and get these uniforms dry cleaned. Aquabats, let’s go get these uniforms cleaned!
All: Yeah!

(After they’ve gone, a lab-coated woman with smeared lipstick goes over to the spot the muck beasts dissolved.)
Woman: My sweet muck beasts! I will avenge you- just as I, Dr Eva Mudlark, will avenge the pain of my ancestors.

Faux-Mercial
Ring in a can bath ring

At the laundromat.
Ricky: Hello? Trusty Dusty?
Mudlark (in disguise): Dusty’s gone. I’m Candy. He sold me ze business, so he could live on a boat and be a …fish whisperer.
Crash: A fish whater-er?
Ricky: Who cares? Can we just get our uniforms cleaned?
MCBC: I’m happy for Dusty. We all are. I just have some concerns about diving into a relationship with a new dry cleaner.
Crash: Yeah, it’s a decision that’s gonna affect our lives for years to come.
Mudlark: Look, guys, I vill clean your uniforms in vun hour for half ze price.
Ricky: Half price. You hear that? Wow!
Mudlark: Unds, zis cupon for discount donuts. Mm? Unds, zies.
All: Elegant robes!
MCBC: Oh my gosh! Yes please. Wow! These are gonna look great.
(Fast forward several minutes and the Aquabats now wear robes. They hand over their uniforms to “Candy” who begins sniffing them, until she notices the guys looking at her suspiciously.)
Mudlark: A dhry cleanah can tell a lot from the clothing I can shmell.
(Mudlark exits with the uniforms)
Ricky: What’s that smell?
Crash: (apologetic) Oh it’s probably my lucky socks. My shoes usually block in the stink.
Ricky: Why don’t you wash em?
Crash: Well what if the luck washes off? Besides, dirt’s the only thing holding them together.
MCBC: Gentlemen, if no one objects I propose we continue this conversation over donuts.

Meanwhile, in the back room of the laundry, Mudlark tosses their dirty uniforms into a vat of laundry and adds green liquid, laughing.
The Aquabats walk next door to the donut shop.

MCBC: I’m gonna get me some discount donuts. Ooh ah, ooh ah!
Mudlark (in another disguise): Ah see you have a cupon. If you purchase vun hundred donuts you get vun hundred more eht full price.
MCBC: We’ll just put it on the band’s gold card. Ricky. you’re the hero. You get the first pick.
Ricky: No thanks. In the name of fitness, I swore off sweets a long time ago.
MCBC: We all admire your willpower.
(The ‘Bats minus Ricky dive into the pile of donuts with gusto and sing a song called The Good Life- song dissolves into slow version they all lay on floor. Ricky noticing some hand sanitizing wet wipes, grabs a couple. The rest of the team lies on the floor moaning.)
MCBC: Guysss there something inside my donut. A cartoon…

It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When we last left the Aquabats beneath the surface of the moon Jimmy the robot was dragged into the deep by a horrible monster. Even Crash’s super size was no match for the lunar leviathan.
Crash: The monster got away with Jimmy!
MCBC: We need to go after him.
Eaglebones: Wait, Commander. We don’t know how deep that lake is. How are we going to find him?!
Ricky: Hey guys, look what I found!
Crash: Hey check out that old school space ship.
Eaglebones: It’s pretty wrecked. If Jimmy were here he could easily build this into a sub.
Crash: I don’t think we have the skills.
MCBC: But we need to try, for Jimmy. Let’s do it for Jimmy.
All: For Jimmy!!
(The ‘Bats sing a song called Guy Stuff while having a construction montage.)
Narrator: Sweet success.
All: Yeah! We’re finished. We did it! Awesome. Hurray!
Eaglebones: Call me crazy but I think it’s a little small.
Narrator: Oopsie!
MCBC: It’s not a compete failure. Now we have an amazing model of a Victorian era submarine. Now if I could only get it into this bottle (uhh grr)!
Ricky: Hey guys look what I found! (He reveals a fully operational submarine that’s been hidden nearby)
Narrator: That’s more like it.
Eaglebones: Guess we shoulda looked under both tarps.
MCBC Let’s go find Jimmy.
Narrator: But where is Jimmy?
Jimmy: Where am I? Where are my friends?
Ugly guard: Your friends aren’t comin’ for ya hahahahaha!
Jimmy: My friends aren’t coming? Would they really leave me here? Is it because I’m, just a “robot?”
(The guard turns away.)
Narrator: Now’s your chance, Jimmy. Finger laser plus robot punch equals freedom! Easy as pie. (Zap) Or is it? (Jimmy begins to short circuit after being zatted by the guard)
Jimmy: Could you stand by while I run some tests on my weapons systems? I seem to have some damage.
Ugly guard: Back in the cage for you, robot. The king has plans for you. He’s gonna melt you down and drink you like hot orange juice. Hahahaheh!
Jimmy: I am alone.
Narrator: Is Jimmy all alone? And where are the Aquabats? Will the lazy pantzes ever wake up? Tune in to the next episode!

(The alarm on Ricky’s watch goes off)
Ricky: It’s time to pick up our dry cleaning guys.
(They all hobble over to the dry cleaners. Ricky must have caved and eaten at least a few donuts, because he holds his belly and moans like the others.)
MCBC: We’re here for our (burp) uniforms?
Mudlark: Vhere is your claim ticket? No ticket, no clothes, no exceptions. (She points to a sign which reads: NO ticket. NO pickups. NO exceptions!)
MCBC: You can’t-
Mudlark: Ohh, ohhh, you think rhules don’t apply to you because you’re fancy types in your fancy rhobes.
Eaglebones: You gave us these robes.
Mudlark: Silence!
MCBC: This ticket thing is ridiculous
Mudlark: Ok…follow me.

(She leads them to the back of the laundry where we previously saw her mixing up trouble.)
Ricky: What’s back here?
Mudlark: Your doom! Achtung mine shuless monster. Meet Eggert! He likes to fight.
Crash: Is that monster made of lint?
MCBC: Hey lady what kinda business are you running here?
Mudlark: It is I- Dr Eva Mudlark! Your old nemesis.
MCBC: Uh Mudlark? You gotta help us out here.
Mudlark: For centuries ze Mudlark family have worked lowly as garbage collectors; a deghrading und thankless job.
(As she speaks we see a flashback of one of the Mudlarks and a peasant)
Peasant: I may be a diseased peasant, but I am better than any of you Mudlarks. (The peasant dumps leftover salad greens on Mudlark’s head)
Mudlark: So I used science to bring garbage to life and create evil muck monsters. Soon everyone vill fear the Mudlark name.
MCBC: (back to the present) Still not ringing any bells.
Mudlark: You destroyed my muck monsters! My babies.
MCBC: (lightbulb moment) Oh! Sorry?
Mudlark: Sorry?! You don’t know ze meaning of ze word- yet! Eggert! Shmack und shlagg! Shnell!
(Eggert slaps the Aquabats with his long cloth arms while Mudlark laughs maniacally.)

Bat cartoon:
Lil bat defeats and surfs a shark

(Aquabats still being slapped by Eggert)
MCBC: I can’t move.
Eaglebones: Why did we eat all these donuts?
Ricky: I’ve never been this dirty.
Crash: Leave him alone he’s had enough. Ow! I didn’t mean for you to hit ME. (catches the laundry monster’s ‘arm’) Look guys I got him! (gets thrown across the room) I don’t got him.
(While trying to save MCBC from getting hauled away, Bones attacks Eggert by jumping at him and actually jumps inside him. Moments later, he is propelled back out covered in lint.)
Ricky: (Noticing the wet wipe in his pocket) This is made from the same stuff as the hand gel. It could kill the monster! Say goodbye to your monster lady.
Mudlark: (sarcastic) Oh I’m so scared.
Ricky: He likes it. He really likes it. But how?
Jimmy: Seeing how he’s made mostly of cleaning chemicals and lint, the idea that he would eat toxic cleaning products as food makes sense.
Ricky: But how could something so filthy be made of something so clean?
Jimmy: Yeah. It is an astounding specimen.
(Eggert yanks Jimmy’s arm off)
Jimmy: Astounding!
Mudlark: Eggert kinon akimma kalill!
(Eggert shoots a long cloth rope from his mouth and ties the Aquabats up with it.)
Eaglebones: That’s his tongue!
Mudlark: Take zem to ze cleaners!
(Fast forward to Eggert holding the Aquabats by his tongue near the vat of bubbling chemicals)
Mudlark: You have a choice: to be tossed in ze tank and dissolved into human shtew- like zo! (She dissolves a donut as demonstration which exposes the donut’s bones…)
Aquabats: Ahhhh!!!
Mudlark: Or to continue to be slapped and shlapped und shlapped und shlapped und shlapped! (Her phone rings) Ayy oh… I have to take zis. My (unintelligible) keeps calling and calling. They drife me crasy.
MCBC: Say no more we’ve all been there.
Mudlark: Ya this is Mudlark. Oh my gosh it’s so good to hear from you darling. (Mudlark, as she’s talking, makes gabby hand at Aquabats to express her dislike of the chatty caller) How are you? Ya I’m just you know in my evil lair doing ya I’m kidding yes no. You know how it is… (After signaling Eggert to keep on shlapping, she leaves the room)
MCBC: Now what?
Eaglebones: We’re out of luck I guess.
Crash: Maybe my lucky socks aren’t so lucky after all.
Ricky: Your lucky socks! Jimmy if the monster eats clean things could something dirty kill it?
Jimmy: Well I suppose. Theoretically.
Ricky: Like Crash’s socks! Crash, take off your socks and see if they do anything to the monster.
Crash: I can’t. I can’t even see my feet.
Ricky: Can anyone else reach them? Aw guys don’t look at me!
MCBC: Only you can save us now hero.
Ricky: Uhhhh why me?
MCBC: Oh come on you can do it. Hurry. Just get over it! Ricky!!!!!
(Ricky throws the socks into Eggert’s mouth. He explodes. They all cheer.)

Mudlark: (returning from the other room) Vy am I not hearing any shlapping? Eggert?
(She screams as Eggert’s remains topple over and crush her)
Ricky: Ahem! I leaned some hard lessons today. I learned that dirt can be a good thing. Heck, dirt saved our lives. I know I can be a bit much sometimes, so I’m gonna try to relax a little more. But! I need you guys to relax a little less. Then we can all meet in the middle. I love you guys. Guys?
Crash: Got em’! What? I’m just trying to get my lucky socks back.
(As they laugh, a laundry cart falls over and a tied up man rolls out.)
All: It’s our old pal trusty dusty!

(Fast forward to Dusty, now untied)
Dusty: That crazy lady tied me up.
MCBC: Are you ok , old pal Trusty Dusty?
Trusty Dusty: No I’m not ok. I’m actually really annoyed. Fish whisperer? You know I hate fish. Didn’t that give you a clue that something was wrong? (Stops himself and laughs) Actually I’m pretty grateful though. Tell you what, let’s go next door. Donuts on me!
(Upon hearing this the guys dissolve into actual donuts and fall apart on the floor)

Previously on the Aquabats! Super Show!:
Among other things, Snakey saying- It’s a trap!

Somewhere… at rock music concert…
(The band plays The Legend is True! in concert. Eaglebones is totally hogging the song with over the top solos.)
MCBC: Nice solo Eaglebones.
Eaglebones: (soloing a little more) Thanks!
(After the concert, the guys walk out the stage door into an alley.)
Jimmy: Eaglebones, your guitar was a little out of tune. Would you like me to run some tests on it?
Eaglebones: Out of tune? I don’t think so Jimmy. Why don’t you leave the guitar stuff to me and you focus on doing the robot. (ends sentence with robotic voice)
Jimmy: Uh ok.
MCBC: (spotting some fans) Uh oh, boys, here they come. Hey guys. (Fans rush right past him) What the wha?
Fans: Eaglebones, your guitaring is amazing. We made this for you. (They hand him a glitter macaroni heart)
Eaglebones: Wow. Did you make this all by yourself?
Fans: (giggling) Yeah.
Male fan: Eaglebones, you should check out my band’s demo CD. It’s awesome.
Eaglebones: Hmm thanks.
Trenchcoat Guy: Eaglebones. Helllo. I’m your biggest fan. And I made ya something too. (hands Eaglebones a bird statue with sticks of dynamite attached)
Eaglebones: You made me a bomb?
Trenchcoat Guy: It’s not a bomb! It’s a clock…shaped like a bird.
Eaglebones: Then what are these sticks of dynamite?
Trenchcoat Guy: That’s a backpack. A bird backpack.
Eaglebones: Okkk. Thanks biggest fan.
Trenchcoat Guy: Don’t mention it- Bro.
Eaglebones: (Mouthing silently) Bro?
MCBC: So who wants an autograph from the singer guy? (Fans walk past him) Oh, I get it. It’s getting late. Curfew! Don’t wanna make those parents mad. I hear you guys. Aquabats got your backs! (Sees Eaglebones tossing all his fanmade gifts in a dumpster) Whoa, bad form, Eaglebones. You know those kids and that sketchy looking trenchcoat guy they worked really hard on that stuff. They made that for our band.
Eaglebones: No. They made em’ for me. Me!
MCBC: Easy turbo.
(An explosion throws the Aquabats against the battletram as the dynamite goes off.)
Jimmy: Is everyone alright?
Dumpster Hobo: Yeah. But that’s the last time I sleep in this dumpster.
Ricky: What kind of person would bomb an innocent dumpster?
Trenchcoat Guy: (from a little distance) Eagleclaw!
Eaglebones: Eagle claw?
Trenchcoat Guy: (running away) Eagleclaw.
MCBC: Aquabats after that trenchcoat guy!
Eaglebones: Stop!
MCBC: What are you talking about, Eaglebones? We have to go after him.
Eaglebones: No. I’ll handle this, ALONE.
MCBC: Oh I get it. Soloing again huh? Well why do you have to go after him alone?
Eaglebones: Because…HE’S MY BROTHERRRR!!!!

(Back inside the battletram, Eaglebones packs a bag.)
MCBC: Bones let us come with you. We can help!
Eaglebones: I don’t need your help- I told you. Eagleclaw’s my brother. I’ll handle this by myself.
Ricky: Well your brother tried to blow us up.
Eaglebones: That was just to get my attention. He wants me to go after him. And I know exactly where to find him.
MCBC: Well them let us come! We can help fight and sing songs and stuff. Come on please?
Eaglebones: You guys’d just slow me down. I’m going solo. (He leaves.)
Jimmy: Now what do we do?
Crash: Hey guys! Look what I found at the bottom of my drink!
All: It’s a cartoon!!!

It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When we last left the Aquabats they were trapped in mind jail by Mooncheese the crreeepy pilot of the moon that planned to use ‘Bat Commander’s mind energy to destroy he earth.
MCBC: NOOOO!! You want my mind energy so bad Mooncheese, here have a taste! (MCBC focuses and sends a shock blast at Mooncheese through the apparatus strapped to his head.)
Narrator: A telepathic attack!
Mooncheese: (summoning help) Attack…
Narrator: Watch out Aquabats. Moon shadow soldiers! (The ‘Bats fight the shadows which then duplicate themselves) The trouble multiplies.
MCBC: Ricky help me out of these straps. We need to even the odds. Is that a jar of space bees?
Narrator: It sure is! The most dangerous bees in space. Take that Moon shadows!
Hope you’re not allergic. Ah ha ha ha ha! Heads up, Commander! Mooncheese is trying to get away. (MCBC punches Mooncheese) Knockout!
MCBC: That’ll teach you to lure people with fake puppies! Jimmy what’s the best way out of here?
Jimmy: It’s this trash chute Commander.
MCBC: A trash chute? I’ve always wanted to jump down a trash chute. ever since I saw that movie st- (falls down trash chute)
Narrator: What’s this! Some kind of underground cavern?
Jimmy: We’re in some kind of underground cavern.
(A giant tentacle snakes out of the water and grabs Jimmy)
Jimmy: Ricky, Crash, help!
Narrator: Ricky Fitness uses his super speed to run across the water. But it’s too late! Crash McLarson uses his power to grow large to go after Jimmy. After that giant brain octopus Crash. (Crash struggles with the octopus) Ouch! Crash is swatted back down to size.
Crash: (looking like he’s about to cry) The monster got away, with Jimmy!
Narrator: Where is the monster taking Jimmy? And how will the Aquabats ever escape from the moon? Don’t ask me. Tune in to the next episode!

Back to guys laughing at cartoon
All: Now what do we do?

(Eaglebones rides a motorcycle to a song called BRO towards a desert called Eagle flats. He arrives and shuts off the bike, which also terminates the song.)
Eagleclaw under Trenchcoat: Eagleclaw, hahahahaha!
Eaglebones: Eagleclaw.
Eagleclaw: Remember me Eaglebones? Your brother with the…eagleclaws! (He minces the air with his razor sharp claws)
Eaglebones: Been a long time brother. Where ya been?
Eagleclaw: Of course you wouldn’t remember. No. Naw. Always thinking about yourself. Well I remember like it was yesterday. It was ten years ago at the county fair. I went to go buy an ice crem for Autumn Escalate, the cutest girl in seventh grade, but my eagleclaws got in the way, again! Then you gave her an ice cream and she gave you a kiss. You stole her from me brother. You stole her from me!
Eaglebones: That’s why you left? I didn’t even like that girl.
Eagleclaw: Oh- you still don’t get it do you? You have no idea what it was like growing up, you know, it was always about you; never about me. But not anymore. This time it’s all about me. And my- eagleclaws! (Again shows off the claws by slicing at the air)
Eaglebones: Sorry bro. I dunno if you’ve heard, but I kinda play a mean laser powered guitar now.
Eagleclaw: Your not the only one.
(Electric guitar battle! The brothers shoot lines of electricity/laser at each other and the beams meet in the middle. Each tries to gain the upper hand until a stray jolt blows up Eaglebones’ bike. Eaglebones tries a trick move behind his back, but the blast isn’t powerful enough to reach Eagleclaw.)
Eagleclaw: Behind the back-really? You always were a bit of a show off. Alright. Try this on for size. (he zaps Eaglebones, knocking him to the ground and wrecking his guitar)
Eagleclaw: You might wanna rethink that solo career. Eh, brother? (He screeches and swipes at his brother’s face, knocking him out)
Eagleclaw: (scampering away) EAGLECLAW!!

Bat cartoon:
Lil Bat steals a ghost’s hat, then he and the ghost prank each other.

Spirit of the Sun: Eaglebonesfalconhawk!
I am the spirit of the sun. Awaken and be well. (Eaglebones stirs and stands up) I sense you are troubled.
Eaglebones: I am! How can I fight my own brother?
SoS: You will not be able to do it alone. You must open yourself up to your friends. And perhaps stop playing such long guitar solos.
(Eaglebones looks unsure)
SoS: EAGLEBONES!
Eaglebones: I will. I promise.
SoS: Then, with your promise I will send you a spirit animal. When you are in need place the glove on your hand and summon her- THE DUDE!
Eaglebones: I summon…the dude?
SoS: That’s it? That’s all you’ve got? I send you a spirit animal and that’s all you can give me? Try it again!!
Eaglebones: I SUMMON THE DUDE!! (Totally kickass TheDude sequence shows the Dude flying, looking glittery)
Uh, I don’t see her.
SoS: Oh. Right. Sorry my bad. (Giggles)
I also grant you the gift of second sight allowing you to see beyond the veil of illusion revealing the magic beneath the surface of reality.
Eaglebones: (looking at her) The…dude.
SoS: Now you have all you need to face your brother. Go! Eaglebones Falconhawk.
Eaglebones: Thank you mighty sun spirit!

Faux-Mercial:
High tides

(Back at the battletram he gang is still waiting in the same positions as when Eaglebones left, even though it’s been an entire day.)
MCBC: Eaglebones- you’re back! You look- horrible. Are you ok?
Eaglebones: I’m great; I’m better than ever! I met the spirit of the sun, and he gave me an invisible bird and magical vision. And he told me to open up to you guys.
MCBC: That’s great…man.
Crash: What’s your invisibirds name?
Ricky: Can you see fairies with your magic vision?
Eaglebones: Her name is the dude and yes Ricky I can see fairies.
MCBC: Uh you mentioned something about opening up to us?
Eaglebones: Yeah. I’m so sorry guys. I’ve been a big jerk lately. I thought I didn’t need you guys, but I do. I need you to help me stop my evil brother. He’s gone crazy and it’s all my fault.
MCBC: Yes! Does that mean we can fight and like sing songs and stuff?
Eaglebones: Totally.
MCBC: yay! (does little overexcited fan girlish jump)
Eaglebones: And Jimmy. I’m sorry I wouldn’t let you fix my guitar earlier.
Jimmy: All is forgiven my friend.
Eaglebones: As it turns out I’m gonna need a new one.
Jimmy: I’m already on it.
MCBC: Good to have you back, Bonesie. Now, how do we find your dastardly brother?
Eaglebones: There’s only one place he’d be.

The gang arrive at the county fair site described by Eagleclaw.
(Echoey voice from all around) Eaglebones, remember this place? Are you ready to be defeated again?
(Eagleclaw appears) By Eagleclaw? And this time, I’ll finish the job. (He screeches)
Eaglebones: No way brother. This time I brought- my whole band! It doesn’t have to be like this Eagleclaw. We could use you. You could join the Aquabats.
MCBC: Whoa whoa let’s not go crazy now.
Eagleclaw: Never!

Brothers fight to music, (of course). Eaglebones falls. The rest of the band keeps playing but Eagleclaw picks them off one at a time. Ricky and Jimmy fall.
Crash: Oh man I wish my bass could shoot lasers. Byooo byoo! Byooo byoo byoo! (Eagleclaw zaps him and he falls)
MCBC: (after dodging a few zaps) Hey that was pretty good. (One big zap kicks him across a field) OH! Ahhhhh…
Eagleclaw: (to Eaglebones) It’s over brother. Your friends are all defeated.
Eaglebones: You’re wrong Eagleclaw. I’ve got one friend left. I SUMMON THE DUDE!!
Eagleclaw: The what?
(The dude scratches Eagleclaw’s face and then his guitar blows up…somehow)
Eagleclaw: NOOOO!
Eaglebones: Nice work Dude!
Eagleclaw: This isn’t over brother. I’ll be back. Eagleclawww (he jumps away but lands not too far away, looks confused) Eagleclaw. (He walks away)
MCBC: Whoa, our side won? How’d that happen?
Eaglebones: It was The Dude, commander.
MCBC: The dude-?
Eaglebones: Yeah! She saved us all.
Eaglebones: Your invisible bird?
(The others laugh)
MCBC: Come on let’s go get your head examined. Seriously.
(Eaglebones looks worried for a second, but then he starts laughing too. They all laugh again. Eaglebones winks at the sun spirit, who winks back at him like they are in on the same cool secret)

Previously on the Aquabats! Super Show!:
Many of these appear to be out takes or just them clowning around.

Somewhere… deep in the forest…

Jimmy: My sensors detect that the beast should be right around -there! (pointing at a large shaggy monster with metal tentacles)
MCBC: Oh I got this! (MCBC charges the monster and immediately a tentacle slices across his shirt, making him scream and almost break into tears. Each Aquabat attacks it in turn and fails)
Eaglebones: There’s no way to stop this thing.
Jimmy: Everyone stand back. (aiming finger lasers)
Monster: Aww poopoo!
(Jimmy shoots lasers which destroy the monster)
Ricky: You just blew that guy up?
Eaglebones: Jimmy…that was hardcore.
Jimmy: It was? But that thing was dangerous. I thought we were trying to destroy it.
Crash: Well I was just gonna punch him a couple a times.
MCBC: WE were gonna take it back to the zoo.
Ricky: That’s pretty cold, Jimmy.
Jimmy: I am not cold. I am a loving, caring robotic protector of mankind.
MCBC: (slightly stiff, robotic sounding voice) And it is a good thing you are programmed to tell jokes too. (laughs) Ricky, why doncha give our park ranger homie a call and let him know the area is clear.
Jimmy: Not quite yet, Commander. There’s something else.
MCBC: Oh yeah? Something else you’re gonna blow up?
Jimmy: There in that patch of trees.
MCBC: (points) Go!
Eaglebones: (as Crash is about to take a step) Crash stop! Look. (Peering into a tiny nest with eggs) It’s a cartooooon!

It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When we last left the Aquabats, Bat Commander chased a puppy down a moon hole and came face to face with this guy. Captured by Mooncheese! Meanwhile the other Aquabats were surrounded by- Space bees! Space bees!
(Song ensues about space bees)
Crash: Hey, my peanuts.
(Ricky takes the jar of peanuts Crash has been eating)
Narrator: Hold on Crash. Ricky fitness has those bees well in hand.
Ricky: (scooping bees into empty peanut jar) Commander I did it! Commander?
Eaglebones: Where’s the commander?
Jimmy: The commander is missing.
Narrator: On the contrary! He’s right under your feet.
Mooncheese: You fell for my trap.
MCBC: Where’s that puppy?!
Mooncheese: There is no puppy, Commander. I took that from your mind as bait. And now you are going to help me destroy earth.
MCBC: Me? Help you? (Blows raspberries with tongue)
Mooncheese: You have no choice, Commander. (Lifts tea to bring himself some using mind power)
Narrator: Telepathic Tea time?
Mooncheese: You see I built the moon to be a giant laser. I brought it here to destroy the earth. I need the mind energy you control to complete the laser’s power.
(The Aquabats fall in a pile in front of Mooncheese and MCBC, apparently having found the crater entrance)
Ricky: Commander!
Narrator: Watch out Aquabats!
Mooncheese: (mentally trapping them with a force field) Welcome to mind jail, from which there is no escape.
Ricky: Mind jail? (Laughs) We can still move around. (Starts dancing)
Mooncheese: Quiet!
Jimmy: You won’t get away with this.
Narrator: Or will he?
MCBC: NO!
Narrate: Will Mooncheese use the Commander’s mind to help destroy the earth? And will the Aquabats ever stop dancing?

(Back to the forest)
Jimmy: No no no. It wasn’t a cartoon I was sensing. It was this. (Reveals a large orange egg)
Crash: That’s a weird looking rock.
MCBC: It could be an egg. Jimmy, Scan it and see if it’s an egg.
Jimmy: It’s definitely an egg.
MCBC: Did you scan it?
Jimmy: No.
MCBC: Scan it!
Jimmy: (exasperated) It’s still an egg. And I detect there’s life inside.
Eaglebones: Then don’t blow it up, robot.
(They all laugh again)
Jimmy: (to the egg) Do not worry little one. Jimmy’s here.

Back inside the battletram with the egg, everyone waits for it to hatch while painting, knitting, snacking, and practicing guitar.
MCBC: What could possibly be in that egg?
Crash: Ahhhh, I’m tired of waiting. Why don’t we just smash it open?
MCBC: Easy big fella. I know this may seem hard to believe, but smashing things isn’t always the answer. Still anything could be in that egg. But what?

Crash: (thought voice) Anything? Maybe it’s a little buddy…
(Crash’s fantasy is a monkey smashing things with him. At the end of the sequence the monkey’s eyes glow a creepy red and startle Crash out of his daydream.)

MCBC: (thought voice) It could be the raddest thing in the world.
(The Commander’s fantasy is the egg hatching into a baby version of himself that he then tosses into the air playfully until his cell phone interrupts him.) Hey homie. Hey I gotta call you back I’m playing with baby me right now. I know it IS the raddest thing in the world. Oh, here I come, I gotta call you back. Later! (The daydream ends in similar fashion to Crash’s with glowing creepy red eyes on Baby MCBC)

Ricky: (thought voice) Mmm, a giant egg full of protein!
(Ricky’s fantasy is himself devouring the cooked egg. At the end of the sequence, the yolk turns into a face, startling Ricky out of his thoughts.)

Eaglebones: (thought voice) Maybe, it could be a dance partner.
(Eaglebones’ fantasy has the egg hatching first legs, then a leotard and eagle’s head. She dances with him before staring at him with the same scary red eyes the others saw. This shocks Eaglebones to the point he actually looks ill.)

Jimmy: (thought voice) A robot can only dream.
(Jimmy’s fantasy involves him taking care of the egg, unhatched, wearing a bonnet and diaper. In his sequence he sings about robot moms and wanting a family.)

After Jimmy’s fantasy the egg begins to crack and pink liquid pours out, followed by a large ugly chick with intense red eyes. Jimmy manages to pin a baby bonnet on it before it tosses him across the room.
Jimmy: (undaunted) Look everyone- he’s hatched!

Faux-mercial:
Handi gel moisturizer

The giant baby chick continues wrecking the lab by flailing around.
Ricky: Eaglebones, blast him with your guitar.
Jimmy: No!
(The baby chick runs outside after Eaglebones inadvertently opens the outside door. They all rush outside after it.)
Eaglebones: What’s your problem Jimmy? I had a clear shot.
MCBC: Yeah, so why did you let him go?
Jimmy: I couldn’t let you harm, my baby.
Others: Your baby!!
Jimmy: Yes. Run Jimmy Jr, run!

Bat cartoon:
Lil’ bat, shipwrecked on a desert island, tries to open a coconut and fails repeatedly until it seemingly cracks of its own accord.

MCBC: (through walkie-talkie) Come in Ricky. Are you there? Do you read me?
Ricky: Commander. There’s no sign of that freaky bird thing.
MCBC: Keep looking Ricky. That thing is dangerous- we have to find that monster.
Jimmy: Monster? How dare you! Perhaps it is you who is the monster.
MCBC: Jimmy what are you taking about?
Jimmy: He’s just a baby.
Ricky: Ayyy! I found him. Not my face! Ouch! He’s trying to eat my braces!
Eaglebones: We have a lock. We triangulated Ricky’s coordinates and we have his location.
Crash: And I painted a picture. It’s a rainbow!

(Aquabats show up and attack Jimmy Jr with punches and kicks; it uses its beak. Jimmy is the exception; he hangs back. Crash tries throwing a pine cone at it but Jimmy warns him.)
Jimmy: Jimmy Jr, watch out!
MCBC: Robot, why are you trying to protect this freak?
Jimmy: Freak? Jimmy Jr and I are family.
Eaglebones: Jimmy Jr? We’re your family!
MCBC: Jimmy, unscramble your robot brain for a second! That thing isn’t your baby it’s trying to kill us! We’re not taking this one to the zoo! Shoot it!
Others: (still under attack) Jimmy! Blow it up! Shoot it!
(Jimmy fires finger missles in the air in anguish, then runs off.)
MCBC: Jimmy no! Jimmy, no! Well I guess this it guys. It’s been one wild ride
Crash: I’ll see you guys in heaven.
Ricky: I’ve been thinking. Can pancakes talk in heaven?
Eaglebones: (matter-of-fact) Ricky, we’ve had this conversation. Pancakes can’t talk.
(Jimmy Jr advances dangerously close.)
MCBC: Hey look, Jimmy’s back!
Jimmy: (to regular sized chicken) Take good care of my baby. I’m sorry Jimmy Jr. I know now that I wasn’t cut out to be a mother. But maybe this random chicken I found on a nearby farm is.
(Jimmy Jr follows the chicken away slowly.)
MCBC: Maybe you ARE ready to be a mother Jimmy. Part of being a parent is knowing when to let your children go.

“Learning and growing” moment:
During the learning and growing moment all the Aquabats stand still and smile while the words “learning and growing appear on the screen beneath them in rainbow outline.

MCBC: Come on guys let’s go home.
Jimmy: (to Jimmy Jr) AWK!
Jimmy Jr: Screeeee!

Previously on the Aquabats! Super Show!:
Montage appears to be mainly footage from an unaired pilot about a Tortilla Monster.

Narrator: Somewhere… At a backyard birthday party…

Aquabats play an evening show for a group of teen to twenties at someone’s house. People are dancing near the stage and in the pool as colored lights flash. The band sings a song the could be called “We Don’t Stop”.
Cut to
Eight hours later the band is still playing the same song, albeit a much slower version. They yawn and look sleepy.

MCBatCommander: On the weaponized guitar, Eaglebones Falconhawk.
(Large explosion is seen across town)
MCBC: That looks like it’s coming from the Burrito Brothers Burger Hut!
Jimmy: (focusing his robot eyes) You’re right commander. The Burrito Brothers Burger Hut is under attack.
MCBC: Kids we’ve had a great time at this birthday party; thank you for having us, but we’ve gotta go.
Birthday Girl: Wait wait wait, wait! You’re leaving already? What about my party?
MCBC: Oh yeah…uh, Jimmy?
(Jimmy produces a small cake with a single candle. He lights it with his fingertip and hands it to her.)
MCBC: Happy Birthday from the Aquabats. (muttering) Aquabats to the battletram.
(As the Aquabats board the battletram, we see each one strap into safety belts and flip some switches in an extended sequence)
MCBC: Let’s go save the Burrito Brothers Burger Hut! AND get some breakfast. I’m starving.

(The battletram pulls up to the charred remains of the Burrito Brothers Burger Hut.)
MCBC: We’re too late!
Firefighter 1: Hey Aquabats, where were you guys? The Burrito Brothers Burger Hut it’s it’s gone- it’s gone!
Firefighter 2: We found this.
(hands them a calling card)
Eaglebones: Manaunt?
MCBC: What’s a Manaunt?
Fighter 1: He’s the one blowin up all the burger places!
MCBC: When we find this Manaunt, I swear he will pay. There’s just one question now. Where are we gonna eat?
Jimmy: A news report is coming in. Tiny Burgers is under attack by mysterious masked men.
MCBC: Aquabats, let’s go. If we can get there soon maybe we can save a delicious sandwich- restaurant.

(On board the battletram)
MCBC: Getting weak… weaker. Jimmy, What’s wrong with me?
Jimmy: (scanning Commander’s stomach) It’s low energy commander. Your blood sugar levels have dipped dangerously low.
MCBC: Speak English robot, English!
Jimmy: (with a very mild posh British accent) It’s low energy commander. Your blood sugar levels have dipped frightfully low.
MCBC: I need to eat now. Jimmy step on it. We’ve got to get to Tiny Burgers immediately.
Crash: I can’t wait that long. I’m hungry now!
MCBC: Easy big fella. Don’t get emotional You know you get big when you get emotional.
Crash: Why can’t I control it?!
MCBC: Hang in there, Crash. We can eat after we save that Tiny Burgers.

Faux-Mercial:
Hairy Hider moustache mouth shield

(Inside Tiny Burgers)
Ricky: There’s no one here.
Eaglebones: I don’t see any masked men.
Crash: Who’s gonna take our order? Hey!

Four men pop out and surround the Aquabats. They are wearing dark outfits, boots, and helmets with visors and antenna. This gives them an appearance similar to soldiers with ant heads. A fight scene ensues until the ‘ant’ soldiers run out the back door. The Aquabats emerge from the back door to gaze after them.

MCBC: (looking down) A DVD? With the mark of Manaunt. This could be a clue. Aquabats, let’s go.
(They all head back to the battletram with Crash trailing behind, last.)

Crash: (distracted by barking inside a van) That’s not right. Is that a corn dog? (Crash investigates what appears to be a dog wearing an outfit made to look like an ear of corn. It’s also got a horn on top, inviting the double pun ‘dogicorn’.) Hi. I’m Crash. What the-? (Picking up the dog, Crash realizes it’s just a mechanized toy) Hey you tricked me little doggie. Getting EMOTIONAL! (Crash starts to grow but the van he’s wandered into is sealed shut by the ‘ant’ soldiers.) Stupid! Reinforced truck!

The other four, not yet missing Crash, head to the media room of the battletram. MCBC hands the DVD off to Jimmy who pops it into a wall slot. They all sit at a table facing the viewing screen while Jimmy presses buttons on a keyboard. They all just watch Jimmy type for about thirty seconds until he finally pulls up the recording ManAnt has made.

ManAnt: Hello, Aquabats. I am Man Ant!
Eaglebones: Man Ant! Maybe we’ve been, saying it wrong?
MCBC: Maybe Manaunt’s been saying it wrong.
Ricky: Yeah.
ManAnt: My ants and I are stronger and far more disciplined than you human clowns. Can a human do this? (he lifts a bagel as big as himself with his mandibles, makes unitelligible mouth full of bagel noises)
Ricky: Bo-ring!
MCBC: But that giant bagel looks so delicious.
ManAnt: And by now I have already captured your teammate Crash McLarson.
MCBC: Is that true Crash? (turns to empty seat) Oh no. It’s true.
Cut to
(Crash is buried in the sand up to his neck.)
Crash: Help! help!

Bat Cartoon:
Lil’ Bat wakes up and tries to get a bowl of cereal. After all his milk falls to the ceiling, he realizes he’s upside-down.

Back to Crash, who is still buried.

Crash: Help, help, help me!
(Four ‘ant’ soldiers walk up and unroll a red carpet which stops at Crash’s chin. One of them places a miniature set of steps at the end of the carpet. ManAnt ascends the steps to be at eye level with Crash.)
ManAnt: Crash McLarson, we meet again!
Crash: You’re tiny.
(‘Ant’ soldiers all gasp)
ManAnt: YOU’RE tiny, captain obvious.
Crash: Don’t I know you?
ManAnt: Think back. Don’t you remember?
Crash: Yeah…

Crash begins to remember and a thought bubble appears. We see young-Crash playing in the sandbox. His child-self also wears the Aquabat uniform.

Young Crash: Hmm what’s this. Hey, a genie lamp. (shakes the lamp)
Genie: (Coughs)
Young Crash: Whoah!
Genie: Oh, oh thank you. Thank you for releasing me. And in return I will grant you a wish.
Young Crash: Wow, a wish?
Genie: (gestures impatiently as Crash thinks) Yes…well well?
Young Crash: Ok, I want a part man part ant bad guy for my dolls to fight.
Genie: Well, your wish is my command!
(ManAnt springs into existence)
ManAnt: What what what what?
Genie: See ya loser.
Young Crash: WOW!
ManAnt: Mommy, sweet mommy.
(Young Crash reaches for the tiny being. From the house Crash’s mom appears, played by adult Crash, in drag.)
Crash’s mom: CRASH! Did you break the toaster?! You get in here right now!
ManAnt: Mommy, no! Don’t leave me!

Flashback ends and we return to the present.

Crash: Oh yeah. I remember that. I always wondered whatever happened to you.
ManAnt: You abandoned me. And now you will pay the price. Karate chop! (he strikes Crash’s nose) Just relax, Crash. You will feel a tiny pinch.
(An ‘ant’ soldier takes a small sample from Crash’s neck.)
Crash: Ouch! That hurted!
ManAnt: Now me! At last my time has come! That’s it, Henchman, don’t be stingy. Yesss! (ManAnt grows to full size.)
Crash: You stole my powers. How come you can control it so much better than me?
ManAnt: I know everything about you. Your power is affected by your emotions over which you have no control.
Crash: I can control my emotions.
ManAnt: Think so? Get the hose. (Soldiers attach a hose to Crash’s neck where the syringe was.) Envelope!
Crash: What’s in there?
Winter is coming, Crash. LOOK! Winter is coming and this sheep has been shaved of his wooly coat.
Crash: So sad!
ManAnt: Oh no look at this. A baby calf on roller skates- pushed down the stairs!
Crash: So ANGRY!
(As Crash reacts to the pictures we see his power flowing into barrels marked to be filled with ‘grow juice’.)
ManAnt: Fill those barrels boys!

Back to the battletram we see MCBC and Jimmy. Jimmy is typing furiously. MCBC puts his head over Jimmy’s shoulder as he talks, first in one direction, then the other.

MCBC: Any sign of Crash?
Jimmy: No, but I did find something interesting. There’s a giant anthill just outside of town.
MCBC: Just outside of town? Is it near any pancake or any burger places?!
(Jimmy shrugs)
MCBC: Take us to that anthill, Jimmy. Saving Crash is more important than burgers…right?
(Jimmy gives MCBC a sidelong glance and nods.)

ManAnt: All my miserable existence I’ve been alone. Now at last, grow! Grow! (‘Ant’ soldiers inject normal ants with grow juice collected from Crash) Yes, yes my brothers. Together we will create a mighty ant army and crush all mankind. Hear me, and obey my commands.

(The Battletram parks over Crash, still buried in the sand.)
MCBC: Crash!
Crash: I’m down here! Thanks for coming guys. Hey, you’re never gonna believe what’s under here.
MCBC: What? A tasty bacon sandwich?
Crash: You gotta get down here and see this. (All wiggle themselves under the battletram) Look! It’s a carTOOOON!!

Cue the cartoon, anime style, of the Aquabats:
Narrator: When last we left the Aquabats they had been hurled into space by one one their most dangerous foes. On board the battletram the Aquabats float helplessly in zero gravity- courtesy of Space Monster M! What’s this- a puppy? In space?
MCBC: Puppy!
Narrator: There’s something strange about that space puppy.
MCBC: Puppy!! (Awakening from his dream) Puppy- Huh huh?
Narrator: Waking from his dream, the Bat Commander senses the subtle signals of immanent danger. Activating the gravity brings the Aquabats to action mode, ready to assist the Bat Commander.
Jimmy: Thrusters won’t fire.
Narrator: They’re headed for the moon!
Eaglebones: We’re headed for the moon!
Narrator: Jimmy the robot activates high tension safety coil to bring the battletram in for a soft landing.
(Battletram bounces over and over then stops. The guys all step out unscathed.)
MCBC: Ahhh I love that moon air.
Jimmy: Uhhhh, did you remember to close all the space animal cages?
Ricky: Oh no! Space bees.
Narrator: That’s right Ricky. Space bees; the most dangerous bees, in space!
MCBC: It’s always so peaceful out here. Puppy? My dream-
Narrator: The bat commander chases after his puppy pal. Cannonball!
(MCBC jumps into a crater and lands in a chair which locks his ankles and wrists in place.)
Mooncheese: I am Mooncheese, the pilot of the moon.
MCBC: Who the? What! Where’s the puppy?
Narrator: What does Mooncheese want? What does any cheese want? Tune in to the next episode!

(Back to under the battletram. All wiggle out, including Crash…somehow)
Crash: I think ManAnt went that way.
MCBC: It’s time we stopped that jerkasaurus. Let’s go.
ManAnt: Follow me my minions. Let’s have a little fun. Ooh, picnickers! Perfect! Just what every ant needs. A picnic!
(Picnickers shriek in fear just as the battletram pulls up)
ManAnt: Welcome to the picnic Aquabats
MCBC: Flee to safety, Picnickers!
ManAnt: Go ahead, flee. Soon there will be no place safe for humans! Attack, my ants! Show em’ how we do it downtown!
MCBC: Ricky, go get the giant ant forks.
Ricky: But forks make me think of food!
MCBC: Just do it, we’re all hungry.
ManAnt: Forks? (to ‘ant’ soldiers) Don’t just stand there go!
(Aquabats fight ants and ‘ants’, MCBC iS matched up with ManAnt, who immediately dominates the fight.)
ManAnt: What do I look like to you, Bat Commander, a helpless bug? One potato, two potato, three potato oh give me the whole salad!

Fighting continues with the Aquabats getting beat down, Jimmy loses an arm at one point.

Crash: (getting punched) Ahh, I don’t feel so good.
Ricky: Commander! Ricky fitness needs help!
(MCBC rushes to help but sees the picnic basket full of fried chicken and is immobilized thinking about eating it.)
The others: Commander help! Commander! You can eat later!
MCBC: It’s like no one wants me to eat. I’m starving ok?
Jimmy: Commander I’ve got a butter mint from that last wedding we played.
MCBC: Do it Jimmy!
(Jimmy fires the candy into MCBC’s mouth)
ManAnt: What is this, a kindergarten snack break?
MCBC: Oh it’s on.
(MCBC jumps at ManAnt and manages to pull off one of his antenna)
ManAnt: Yahhh! Ahhh, that’s mine! Give it back! My brothers, what are you doing? Heed me! Heed my commands. NO!!
Jimmy: It worked Commander.
ManAnt: Get your mandibles off me you dirty ant!
Jimmy: The ants are no longer under ManAnt’s control.
ManAnt: You ingrate! Put me down this instant!

Crash: Hey those are my friends!
(Crash gets angry, grows big and kicks the ants into a fiery explosion…somehow)
ManAnt: (falling/escaping over a cliff) I’ll be back! ManAnt will be back
MCBC: Good work Crash!
Crash: Stupid ants! (Begins to wreck anthill) Commander? They stole burgers from all the burger places, and they’re all in here!
MCBC: Burger rain!
The others: Burger rain!
Aquabats sing a short song about burger rain and eat burgers.

I know all of you were wondering about the Aquabats! Crickets? No? Well it doesn’t really matter because I post for me. And I like the Aquabats! Super Show! right now. Yes the exclamation points seem to be important, but I’ll mostly skip them from here on out for readability and the sake of my autocorrect.

My exposure to the Aquabats is limited to the TV show and what I’ve been able to find on the internet. Somewhere in the 90’s the Aquabats started as a costumed ska band in California who touted themselves as musical superheroes. A friend of mine actually saw them in the early days at a show she described as “maybe eight people in the audience.” Well not anymore! Now that they are on TV you don’t have to be in California to see them. They have gone through multiple iterations in terms of band membership and their musical style has broadened. This is the current group as explained by the Super Show theme song:

The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!

We’re a band of five heroes.
We love to save the world you know.
We’ll travel the land in our battletram.
We’re the Aquabats! The Aquabats!
With:
The MC Bat Commander (Commander!)
Crash McLarson (Crash!)
Ricky Fitness (Ricky!)
Eaglebones Falconhawk (Eaglebones!)
And Jimmy the Robot (Jimmy!)

Together they fight evil, so unbelievable!
Aquabats….Let’s go.
This is the Aquabats Super Show, here we go-o-o!

The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)

This is the Aquabats Super Show, it’s a TV show-o-o-o-o!

The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats!
(Super Show!)
The Aquabats Super Show.

The best thing about the Show theme song is the fact that it tells you everything you need to know, EVEN that you are watching TV show, just in case you had forgotten.

Now a little bit about each ‘bat:

MC Bat Commander (MCBC)
An original member (of two remaining!) The Commander leads the group and calls the shots most of the time. His only superpower seems to be having the most lines, or maybe it’s that he is the only guy with a moustache? Anyway, someone has to keep the group together and that’s the Bat Commander.

Crash McLarson
The other original member, Crash is the oldest actor and possibly the oldest Aquabat (although this is unclear) but in some ways he is more child-like than all the others. He gets frustrated easily and little things affect him in a big way. And I do mean literally big, as his power is emotion-based super growth. Crash might be on the naive side, but he clearly cares about his friends most.

Ricky Fitness
He’s fit, he’s young (maybe? again their character ages are really vague) and he can run at super speeds. He’s a bit of a health nut and clean freak. I’m with you there, Ricky- germs skeeve me out.

Eaglebones Falconhawk
He seems the most ‘rocker’ of the group, has long hair and wields a laser equipped electric guitar. The weaponability of said guitar seems linked to the hotness of his solos. Keep practicing, Eaglebones.

Jimmy the Robot
So he’s a robot I guess. That’s a power? It’s unclear what his specs are like in terms of human tendencies, laws of robotics, positronic brain, self awareness…or it’s a kids show so- shrug? As a scifi fan I am used to waaay more (pardon the expression) fleshing out of robots motivations/backstories. But again kids show, I can deal. As a robot, Jimmy does have a lot of sweet moves (again pardon the expression) up his sleeve such as removing his arm, producing lasers or fire from his fingertips, and making his hand into a grenade.

The guys all wear tight blue shirts called rash guards (cuz surfing or something? I’m in New York!) and silver helmets with black eye masks. They wear black shoes and black Bermuda shorts with belts bearing an emblem of a bat.

The show format starts with a recap of last episode that may or may not be pertinent at all. Then the Show theme song (not to be confused with the Theme Song by the Aquabats which gives an older version of their backstory) and a one sentence narration that sets up the story. The action is interrupted by not only real commercials, but fake commercials for nonsense products and at least one cartoon of them OR the bat emblem on their belt. His name is Lil Bat, or so says the wiki.

That’s the rundown. I plan on blogging up several transcripts of the show to follow this post. Why? Well I couldn’t find a transcript online. Also someone sweet got me the DVD of their first season and I’m watching it repeatedly. Now I only have to wait for my DVR to catch season two.