This is WRSN. You just heard The Scones with their big hit single “I wanna meet your cranberries”. I’m Minnie Large and this is the place to be tonite. We’re having our ‘name that bell’ show and this next bell is a real toughie. See if you can name it. (ting ting ting) Lets take some callers. Hi you’re on the air.
Caller: Hi. That sounded like lawn mower bell to me.
Minnie: Ooooh your awfully close but no, not a lawn mower bell. Hi who’s this?
Caller 2:Amy. I think your bell show is the best.
M: Well thank you so much. What is your guess?
C 2: I want to say a scuba diver’s bell?
M: Nope sorry that’s not it. Hi what is your guess?
C 3:Yeah just a large with cheese and gum drops. Oh and a coke.
M: I think you may have the wrong number. Lets try another one. Hello you’re one the bell show.
C 4:Hi Minnie. Look I just wanted to remind you to fill up the car’s gas tank.
M: Mom?
C 4:Yes dear I didn’t want you to forget like last time.
M: Mother this isn’t the best time.
C 4:Because I don’t want to have to pick you up again. The ladies are coming over for a bunion party and I really can’t desert them.
M: Mom I’m in the middle of a show.
C 4: Oh and I need you to get me tomorrow’s newspaper.
M: What?
C 4: I have to find out if anything important is going to happen…
M: Why can’t you call during the commercial break?
C 4:You are listening aren’t you? Because I don’t like to repeat myself.
M: Fine mother. Whatever. I won’t forget.
C 4: Bydlee bye sweetie.
M: If anyone at all is still listening I will just tell you the bell was a weed whacker bell. Let’s hear from the Nerdy Noodles singing “I’m over my mind out of you”
(music break)
And we’re back. If you’re just joining us this is the WRSN bell show. Try this bell on for size. (bonk BONK) Hello this is the raisin.
caller: That bell sound alot like my father’s nose.
M: Well it is definitely a bell. So unless your father is a doorknob-
caller: He’s a clown. His nose honking sounds that way. Is it a clown bell?
M: Sorry it is not a clown bell. Next caller.
C 6: Hi. Am I on?
M: You are indeed on the bell show.
C 6: Oh. I think the bell is a couch bell.
M: Can you be more specific?
C 6: The couch arm bell?
M:That’s right! What is your name?
C 6:What
M: What?
C 6: That’s right.
M: Okay I think I just missed something. Your name is what?
C 6: Yes it is.
M: Well Yesitis this is your lucky day.
C 6: No it isn’t-
M: Well I suppose if you don’t like the prize it isn’t but you’ve won just the same.
C 6: You don’t understand.
M: Of course I don’t. I’m never eligible for these prizes myself. They don’t give us anything. I haven’t had a raise in four years. And I’m always covering for the night shift. Who actually were all fired six months ago. We’ve just been taking their shifts on. Without being paid might I add. So no I don’t understand but I’m not taking this any more. All you under-appreciative fans. Do I ever get more than one fan letter a week? NO! I have to put on Aqualung now.
(half hour later)
M: This is Minnie Large on WRSN and I’m really sorry for that outburst. If anyone knows a Yesitis who called earlier please have him call back. Join us next week on the bell show until then I’m Minnie Large. (fading off) Somebody find me my pills.