Previously on the Aquabats Super Show:
Among the ‘incorrects’ a woman in green jumps into the air and Eaglebones engages a larger-than-life-size hand in a box.
Somewhere… at a summer camp
(We see campers at Camp Radventures participating in a series of camp activities: battle canoes, giant eyeball soccer, laser guitar, and drum fighting. They all gather at a pavilion with a flag.)
Camp Counselor Jewel: (blows a whistle) Alright AquaCadets, gather round. I just wanna say how stoked I am on all y’all right now! Seriously, with the exception of the pudding pants debacle on tent twelve, I can easily say that this is the best AquaCadets summer camp ever! I just know that the Aquabats themselves would be so proud of y’all- if they were actually here. Which they are!
(The Aquabats come out)
MCBC: Thank you AquaCadets. It’s super rad to be back here at AquaCadet Summer Camp. Now let’s hear it for our camp counselor, Jewel. (the kids cheer extra loud) Ok. Don’t have to hear it that much. Now everyone stand and join us in singing the AquaCadet Anthem.
(Camp song ensues)
MCBC: Yeah hahaha. Now let’s go check out some of the awesome stuff you guys learned. AquaCadets-
Jewel: Let’s go!
(Montage of kids imitating Aquabats’ abilities one at a time and needing pointers from the actual Aquabats)
MCBC: Before we get started do any of you fine young cadet homies have any questions for the ol’ Bat Commander?
Chauncey: Yes uh Commander can you tell us how you started the Aquabats?
MCBC: I’m glad you asked, Chauncey. It’s a tale as old as pinball games. We all came from a tiny island somewhere deep in the south Pacific called Aquabania. It was a beautiful paradise hidden away from the rest of the world. We surfed all day; we ate food all night. And when there was no food, we ate sand.
Chauncey: You ate sand?
MCBC: We ate sand. Then one dark day out of the sky a force from outer space invaded our little island home. About eight or nine of us escaped, and we vowed that day to return again- with help. The journey was harsh and not all of us made it. We washed up on a strange beach and a kindly professor took us in. He nursed us back to health, made us shiny blue uniforms, and gave us special chemicals to enhance our natural ability and strength. Ricky was given super speed. Crash was given giant power. Eaglebones was gifted with a special laser shooting guitar. And Jimmy was turned into a human cyborg. The Professor was amazing-
Chauncey: Commander, what special powers did you get?
MCBC: Dude, mind your own business! (Chauncey looks crestfallen) Anyway, the Professor then gave us a mission.
Professor: To become a rock’n’roll band! Drums, guitar, keyboard, bass…and uhhh (the Professor fishes a microphone out of what appears to be a garbage can and hands it to the Commander). His final gift was his greatest creation.
Professor: I give to you- the battletram!
(They all get very round faces like tiny excited children as they see the shiny twinkly battletram. They hop in and drive off a cliff labeled ‘fiscal bluffs’ for some reason)
MCBC: And that’s how we became the Aquabats. Alright. Now let’s find a volunteer to receive my chupacabra judo flip. Uh, Danny Blembaugh come on up. Danny?
Jewel: Ohh oh he had to go home, he had terrible taste…in fashion.
MCBC: Fine. Then I guess I’ll just have to demonstrate on you camp counselor Jewel.
Jewel: I’d be happy to Commander.
MCBC: Now cadets pay close attention. The trick is to shift all your weight-
(Jewel cuts him off by judo flipping him)
Jewel: And that’s how you do a judo flip! (Noticing the sunset) Alright cadets, time for dinner and bedtime. Choose and snooze!
Kids: Choose and snooze!
MCBC: Choose and snooze…
(We see kids sleeping in bunks in one of the tents. A beast resembling Bigfoot tears tent to shreds as the kids scream in terror. Inside the battletram, the Aquabats ready for bedtime.)
MCBC: I mean seriously who does camp counselor Jewel think she is anyway?
Eaglebones: Is it because she Judo flipped you in front of all those cadets, Commander?
MCBC: No. Maybe. Be quiet. This is the Aquabats summer Camp, not camp Jewel. She undermines our authority here. And besides, there’s something suspicious about her. I think she’s hiding something. I mean who wears sweaters in the middle of the summertime?
Crash: I think camp counselor Jewel’s great.
Ricky: Yeah. Jewel rules. She’s confident, upbeat and encouraging. Don’t fake the funk Commander.
MCBC: I don’t know what you mean by that Ricky. But if you all love camp counselor Jewel so much- why don’t ya marry her!
(Three kids rush in)
Kids: Aquabats!
MCBC: What is it little lookalike homies?
Clash: Bobby Freshness and Stevie Roboterson are gone!
(They all examine the ruined tent)
MCBC: What kinda camp is counselor Jewel running, where little dudes get taken out of their baby bunks in the middle of the night?
Eaglebones: Technically it’s our camp. This did happen on our watch.
Crash: He’s right. We really let those cadets down.
MCBC: Well, welcome to camp crazy town! Am I the only one seeing things clearly here? This is not our fault!
(Outside the beast can be heard growling. The entire camp rouses in fear at the noise. The beast appears and they all scream, including Jimmy, Eaglebones, Crash, and Ricky. Eaglebones actually jumps into Jimmy’s arms.)
Clash McJones: Save us camp counselor Jewel. Getting emotional!!
MCBC: You don’t need her help! You got the Aquabats right here. (The entire camp and the other four bats respond with more screaming) Fine! This is my camp and I’m gonna protect it. Everyone, to the battletram. (As they run for cover, he shoots flames at the beast and drives it off.) Yeah! That’s right. Where’s your camp counselor Jewel now?
(He stakes out the roof of the battletram all night, keeping watch with the flame gun. He even shoots at the fox at one point. Around dawn he sees the beast…turning back into Jewel!)
MCBC: What the WAAA?!?
FauxMercial: At Captain Turnip’s Grocery Island, we pride ourselves on cleanliness.
(The ‘Bats, Cadets and Jewel in the battletram.)
MCBC: And then she turned into Bigfoot.
Jimmy: Commander, there’s no such thing as Bigfoot.
MCBC: I’m telling you she changes into some kind of Bigfoot thing at night. I saw her change back into a human when the sun came up.
Jewel: That’s ridiculous Commander. This job is my life. Well…at least three weeks out of the year every other summer ((if I don’t get a better job!))
Ricky: I’m convinced.
MCBC: Oh fine. If you guys wanna sit around and wait for her to rip your heads off- be my guests! But we still have to look for those missing cadets.
Chauncey: But what about that Bigfoot monster?
MCBC: It’s sitting right here, so you’re perfectly safe. She can even come with us if she wants to.
Jewel: I’d be happy to.
MCBC: Alright then. Aquabats, Aquabat, babies; to the spooky woods!
(They all search along the trail)
MCBC: You guys can stop being so nervous; we’re not gonna run into any monster- she’s right here! (he runs into her) Very funny.
Eaglebones: My eagle vision can’t find any sign of the creature.
Jay Sparrowhawk: Let me use my sparrow vision. (she dons goggles) Look, monster tracks! And they lead straight to that cave.
Eaglebones: Nice work cadet Sparrowhawk.
(Inside the cave they find several cadets in chains using pickaxes on cave walls covered with gems)
The three lookalike cadets: Bobby! Stevie!
Bobby and Stevie: Aquabats!
(Jimmy lasers their chains off)
Eaglebones: Are you guys ok? Can you tell us what happened?
Bobby: This huge hairy monster grabbed us out of our bunks and forced us to mine jewels to make those. (he points to some jewel encrusted sweaters)
MCBC: Haha see! The sweater! It looks exactly like camp counselor Jewel’s.
Jimmy: Commander, just because they’re both covered in gems does not automatically mean that counselor is some kind of monster. These are very popular jewels.
Crash: Yeah check out my shorts.
Eaglebones: And don’t forget my new grill.
MCBC: Aw jeez, how long are you guys gonna defend this lady? She is the monster!
Jewel: The important thing is that we get these cadets to safety.
Jimmy: Great idea camp counselor Jewel. Kids, let’s go!
(MCBC kicks the cave wall in frustration and notices-)
MCBC: A cartoon!
Bat Cartoon:
TV dinner!
(As they walk back)
Crash: Bat commander ate his burrito. Then the ghost ate him. And then he got all covered in goo.
Ricky: I remember that.
Jewel: Commander I, I just wanted to say that I’m- I’m sorry.
MCBC: For what? Ruining everything in the whole world ever? Making me look like a fool in front of my friends?
Jewel: Yeah kinda. But mostly I wanna apologize for for-
MCBC: For what? Spit it out.
Jewel: For this: were-ape!
(He screams as she changes into the monster. The others turn to see what the noise is about.)
Were-ape Jewel: I am a were-ape!
All: A were-ape?
Were-ape Jewel: A were-ape!
All: A Were-ape!!
(They begin to attack her one at a time. Were-ape Jewel throws Jimmy aside)
Eaglebones: I summon the- (Were-ape Jewel drops Eaglebones by hitting him over the head)
Crash: How could you lie to us like that camp counselor Jewel? Getting emotional!! (Were-ape Jewel gives Crash some kind of Vulcan/Bigfoot neck pinch?) I’m not emotional…
(Were-ape Jewel punches him in the stomach, then tosses Ricky aside by hitting him with a log. The lookalike cadets and MCBC run back toward camp as it gets dark)
MCBC: Alright cadets, looks like you all just got promoted.
Chauncey: But what can we do? Camp counselor Jewel’s our hero.
MCBC: Well then it’s time to get a new hero. Bobby Freshness, go and collect all the rope you can find and bring it back here as fast as you can.
Bobby: But I can’t!
MCBC: You can- Aquabat.
Bobby: I’m on it!
MCBC: Clash McJones, throw that boulder straight up in the air as high as you can.
Clash: But that’s Crash’s boulder, there’s no way I can-!
MCBC: You’re the Crash now Clash.
Clash: I’m Clash McJones!
MCBC: Stevie Roboterson, calculate the velocity of that falling boulder and carry the two.
Stevie: 64 miles an hour, straight down.
MCBC: Now tell Jay Sparrowhawk when to fire.
Stevie: Wait for it.
Chauncey: What about me?
MCBC: Chauncey, I want you to get on my shoulders. Cuz’ that would just be awesome.
Stevie: Wait for it.
MCBC: Come and get us you big hairy grizzle burger!
(Chauncey blows the bugle)
Stevie: Now!
(Jay fires and the boulder lands on Were-Ape Jewel’s head. Bobby ties her up with rope.)
All: Yeah!
Eaglebones: Commander! Cadets! You did it! You captured the were-ape!
Ricky: I knew you wouldn’t fake the funk!
Jimmy: Sorry we didn’t believe you Commander. You were right all along.
MCBC: It just goes to show you: always be wary of people who are way into putting jewels on their sweaters. They can transform into hideous freaks and rampage at summer camps.
(Learning and growing moment)
(From the woods another hairy creature emerges)
MCBC: Is that?
Jimmy: Yes commander. It’s Bigfoot.
Eaglebone: (confused/repulsed) They want to be together?
Ricky: That’s adorable.
Were-ape Jewel: Oh yeah. He’s my boyfriend. We’re not using the love word yet ((but I think he’s the one!))