Previously on the Aquabats! Supershow!: There’s very little material that doesn’t belong. Though I don’t remember that laser ghost from last time…
Somewhere…in the universe?
(We see the battletram has crash-landed somewhere very white and sandy. The Aquabats have grown long beards and moustaches.)
MCBC: Alright Aquabats, this strange planet may be hostile, so be on your toes and look out for… tacos?
Eaglebones: What happened to us? My menory’s all fuzzy.
MCBC: You know what else is fuzzy Eagleban? Lit-tle baby birdies. We have to be careful.
(A ship flies nearby and shoots at them.)
Eaglebones: Commander we’ve gotta get the other guys to safety. Come on!
MCBC: Do your worst baby birdies! This monkey’s going to heaven!
(The ship continues shooting at them. Eaglebones gets Ricky and Jimmy to shelter next to the crashed ‘tram. MCBC starts licking the sand.)
Eaglebones: Commander get Crash!
MCBC: I can’t. There’s something wrong with this dirt. It’s delicious.
(The ship lands and two aliens begin shooting at them from on foot.)
Eaglebones: Crash. Crash! Wake up! (He slaps Crash to try to bring him around.) The Commander’s gone batty. He’s got some kind of space madness.
(The aliens concentrate on MCBC, zapping him.)
MCBC: Ah! Eaglebuns! Help me!
(Eaglebones returns fire with his guitar. Two government jets arrive.)
Blue Alien: (subtitled) Boo. Their military is here. We had better take off.
Red Alien: (subtitled) Aw man. I wanted to eat the fat one.
Blue Alien: (subtitled) Which fat one?
Both: (subtitled) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
(The aliens leave as government vans show up.)
Eaglebones: What the-
Government Man: (to his wrist) Yessir. Yessir we’ve got em’. The Aquabats are back.
MCBC: Happy birthday! (He collapses)
FauxMercial: sonic boom 3000
(The Aquabats are clean shaven, seated at a press conference. Cameras flash, reporters shout their names)
Blonde Guy Reporter: Aquabats. What was it like being thrown into outer space?
Ricky and Crash: We were in outer space?
Cross-eyed Reporter: How does it feel being responsible for saving the world?
Ricky and Crash: We saved the world?
Female Reporter: Jimmy the Robot!
Ricky and Crash: Jimmy’s a Robot?
MCBC: People with microphones! Please excuse us a moment.
(They huddle)
Eaglebones: Does anyone know what’s going on?
MCBC: I know exactly what’s going on Eaglejones. Those dolphins disguised as reporters are trying to trick us.
Eaglebones: (sighs heavily) Does anyone else know what’s going on? Can you guys remember anything?
Crash: Uhhhh. I like ice cream.
Ricky: Crash does like ice cream.
Jimmy: I remember- I remember- I remember- I remember-
(MCBC slaps him to stop the skipping)
Jimmy: Thank you Commander. I remember, nothing unfortunately.
Maybe we can trick those reporters into giving us some answers about what’s going on.
MCBC: Good plan Jimmy. Now, let’s ride a tiger down the River Euphrates!
Eaglebones: Oh boy… Break!
(They sit back down)
Eaglebones: We will now take your questions.
Female Reporter: Crash! How did it feel to save the world like that?
Crash: Uuummm. Can you please be more, specific?
Female Reporter: Of course! How did it feel to save the world from Space Monster M’s giant robot body by wrestling him and stealing his magic headband and then being hurled into space for an undetermined amount of time?
Crash: …I like ice cream?
Bearded ice cream fanatic: Yeah!!! Ice cream. (Jumping up and down) Woohoo! Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!
(The government agents signal one another then have him dragged off.)
Eaglebones: Www,what I think Crash is trying to say is- it feels awesome to be back on earth!
Blonde Guy Reporter: I think the question the world really wants to know is; how did you all become the Aquabats?
MCBC: Well my dolphin friend, I was swimming in the Caribbean. Animals were hiding behind the rocks. Yeah. Except for little fish.
Eaglebones: Whoa whoa whoa, what the Commander means is; it was about ten years ago when we all first met.
(A cartoon flashback ensues with Eaglebones narrating)
Eaglebones narrator: For most of my life I’ve wandered this wide world searching for answers. One day I came to a crossroads.
Old man: Traveler! If you follow the road east you will become the greatest guitar player of all time. Fame and riches beyond your wildest dreams await you there.
Eaglebones narrator: So I went west.
Eaglebones: You’re not the boss of me!
Eaglebones narrator: I came upon a small roadhouse for land pirates and mutants. I heard a terrible noise coming from inside. I decided to check it out. There was this band playing inside. (The other four Aquabats) They were horrible. They wore these ridiculous costumes. And worst of all, they had horns. But still it was like nothing I’d ever seen, so I stayed to watch.
MCBC: We’d like to thank everybody for coming out to see us tonite. (A bottle is thrown at him) Right back atcha homie!
Eaglebones narrator: It wasn’t going over too well for those guys. That’s when I noticed something. They needed a guitar player! (Eaglebones fends off the would-be attackers with his laser guitar) I had to keep moving on. But the band came after me.
MCBC: Hey, wandering dude-man. You should end your days of wandering and become a full time Aquabat. It would be so good.
Eaglebones: Only on one condition. We must spend the next fifteen years wandering in obscurity, traveling the highways and byways of the land looking to right wrongs, fight evil, and protect the innocent.
MCBC: Um, ok.
Eaglebones: But if we ever become famous or make money, I’m out. And seriously guys? Lose the horns.
MCBC: You’ve got yourself a deal.
Eaglebones narrator: Things seemed to work out pretty well from then on.
(Back to live action)
Eaglebones: And that’s how we became the Aquabats!
(A huge tentacley monster wearing a blue shirt breaks through the wall, snarling)
Government agent: Ok. That concludes the press conference for today.
(Everyone panics and screams en masse)
Monster: Hey Aquabats, I have a question for you. How’s it gonna feel when I rip your head off?
Crash: Well actually,
MCBC: Careful Crash. This could be a trick question.
Monster: How do you like me now Aquabats? Am I even more beautiful than the night we met?
Ricky: Who is this dude?
Eaglebones: This dude…The Dude. I SUMMON THE DUUUDE!! (Short Dude sequence) Dude use your mystic power to fix my memory. (He sees a montage of last season, ending in an image of Ronmark.) Ronmark!
Ronmonster: That’s right Skinny! And I am awesome! (He tosses the nearest Aquabat, Jimmy, aside.)
Crash: Jimmy!!!
Ronmonster: Aquabats! Can I get an autograph? Will you sign this giant beam with your faces?
MCBC: Aquabats, let’s get out of here!
(They run outside)
Ronmonster: Oh no you don’t!
Crash: Where’s the battletram?
Ricky: Don’t worry guys I’m on it! (He whistles) Taxi!
(Two government agents rush to the taxi and take it before the Aquabats can)
MCBC: Hey! What are you dolphin dudes doing?
Government Guy: What are you doing? You’re the heroes now. Get back in there and stop that monster.
(Ronmonster swings at them with an I beam)
Ronmonster: You made me Aquabats, and now I’m gonna make you- into soup!
(The Aquabats run again.)
Eaglebones: (suddenly stopping with outstretched arms, he clotheslines the others) Stop! Guys, why are we running? We can take ’em if we work together. You heard those reporters. We saved the world.
MCBC: We may have saved the world Eaglephone, but this I know- His teeth as white as snow. What a gas it was to see him, walking every-
Eaglebones: Enough Commander! You’ve got some kinda space dementia. You better snap out of it if we’re gonna save the day.
Crash: How can we save the day? I don’t even remember saving the world.
Eaglebones: Well I do, Crash. And you- you were awesome. You grew a hundred feet tall and beat up a giant robot with your bare hands.
Crash: I don’t remember growing a hundred feet tall.
Eaglebones: I think I can jog your memory. You stay here. Ricky, Jimmy, help me distract Ronmark.
Ricky: You got it!
(Runs over and immediately begins fighting Ronmonster.)
Eaglebones: Hey Ronmark!
(Ronmonster tosses Eaglebones and Jimmy at the Bat Commander.)
Crash: You better not have hurt my friends!
Ronmonster: Or what? You’ll cry me to death you big baby-man?
Eaglebones: (unscrewing Jimmy’s head) Crash look- Jimmy the Robot- he’s broken.
Crash: Jimmy! NO!
Jimmy: Technically, Crash, I’m-
Eaglebones: (quietly to Jimmy) Shut up!
Crash: Getting emotional!
(Crash grows and scoops up Ronmonster)
Crash: You broke my friend!
(He throws Ronmonster, who apologizes profusely even as he’s being hurled into the air)
Eaglebones: (screwing Jimmy’s head back on) You did it Crash!
Jimmy: Good work Crash.
Crash: Jimmy! You’re all better! (He shrinks)
Jimmy: Actually Crash, I do feel a lot better. Great plan, Eaglebones.
MCBC: Eaglebones, what happened?
Eaglebones: Commander, you said my name right! Are you feeling better?
MCBC: I think so.
Ricky: No talking crazy?
MCBC: You’re talking crazy homeboy. Now Aquabats let’s-
(He stops, noticing a crowd has gathered.)
Oldish Lady: You’re the Aquabats. You’re those superheroes.
Cafe man: Yeah you guys just totally threw that monster mutant beast into outer space.
MCBC: Yes citizen homies. We are the Aquabats.
(The crowd cheers)
Oldish Lady: That’s great. ‘Cause we’ve got some ruffians in our neighborhood that need to be thrown into outer space too!
Eaglebones: We’re on it.
Hairy guy: Yeah and my dog got stole. And I need your help to find him.
Eaglebones: We can do it!
Cafe man: And my boss is a jerk! I need to make more money, yo?
Eaglebones: We’ll help you. We’ll help all of you!
MCBC: Whoa whoa slow down Eaglebones. We got to figure out a few things first and find the battletram, remember?
(The crowd begins shouting their disappointment. They look ready to rampage.)
Hairy guy: No way. We need help! You owe us. We need your help now!
Ricky: Guys, let’s get outta here!
MCBC: Aquabats. Let’s go!
(The Aquabats run away comically and sing: Help me help me! Finally they hide in an alley, keeping very still and quiet.)
Crash: I think they’re gone
Eaglebones: I’m telling you guys we can help all those people. We can be Their HEROES!! (the crowd hears him and turns on them, zombie-like) Oh no.
Bat Cartoon: Lil Bat dreams of snowboarding
Eaglebones: (as crowd closes in) So I was wrong. Maybe we can’t help all these people.
MCBC: Jimmy, electron pulse!
Jimmy: Coming right up Commander.
(Jimmy zaps the crowd back a few feet, clearing a path for their escape)
Ricky: This way!
(Once they lose the crowd again…)
MCBC: These disguises should keep us safe until we find the battletram.
(Jimmy is dressed as a lady, MCBC and Bones are in a horse costume, and Crash and Ricky are a tall man in a trenchcoat)
Ricky: Yeah. Your costume looks good Commander.
MCBC: Thanks bro. Now quietly. Through the crowd.
(They begin to filter through the crowd)
MCBC: Easy we’re doing it..
Man in green: I need a refill.
Eaglebones: (popping out of his costume to help) Sure I got that for ya pal!
Hairy guy: It’s them!
MCBC: Run!
Ricky: It’s the battletram!
MCBC: Aquabats. Get aboard that tricked-out battletram!
(They get aboard, Eaglebones giving the crowd one last look)
MCBC: Hey check this out. (reading) Dear Aquabats: I hope you don’t mind that I had the battletram all fixed up for you. First I wanted to thank you for saving the world and that if you ever need help, I will be there. Signed, a secret friend.
The others: A secret friend?
Ricky: He must have a lot of money. Look at this thing. It’s like, brand-new!
Eaglebones: Kinda like us, huh Commander? The Aquabats are brand-new too. We’re superheroes who save the world now. But…maybe not every other tiny little thing.
MCBC: It’s true Eaglebones. Saving the world is a big responsibility. That hopefully someone else will pay for.
(Learning and growing moment)
Jimmy: Wow look at this new button. I wonder what it does.
(He pushes it and the battletram sprouts fin-like wings and jets, and takes off into the air. The guys all cheer as the ‘tram rockets across the sky)
Hairy guy: (from the ground) Awesome.
(The aliens from before spot the flying battletram)
Blue alien: (subtitled) Hey wait a minute.
Red alien: (subtitled) What is it?
Blue alien: (subtitled) Isn’t that those fat blue guys?
Red alien: (subtitled) Yep. Let’s go eat em!
Jimmy: (Sees the aliens and, realizing they are already in another adventure, turns to camera in a fourth wall break) Here we go again!