Previously on the Aquabats! Super Show:
These are mostly accurate shots from last episode. I think they used every single instance of MCBC slapping someone else with his space-infected tentacle limb.
Somewhere on a world tour…
MCBC: Ahh, there’s nothing like being a band on the road. The truck stop food- the public restrooms- the lack of showers! It’s so awesome! Eaglebones, what’s the next city on our world tour?
Eaglebones: Looks like- Cramtucket.
MCBC: Cramtucket.
Ricky: Hey Commander, I bet you one truck stop chimichanga you can’t hold your breath for ten miles.
MCBC: Chimichanga? You’re on Ricky. Step on it, Jimmy. (Pants, then hold his breath)
Jimmy: No commander. No more bets. Everyone knows you never turn down a bet, so they trick you into doing things they know you can’t win.
MCBC: (exhaling) Haha ridiculous. Name one bet I haven’t won.
Eaglebones: How ’bout that time Crash bet you couldn’t jump over that cactus?
(Cutaway shows MCBC’s attempt, Crash actually looks really disappointed when he bounces off the cactus.)
Crash: Or the time that Ricky bet that you couldn’t eat a whole pizza in one bite?
(Cutaway shows MCBC shoving an entire pizza at his face. Crash and Ricky cheer him on; Crash is holding money shouting ‘pizza pizza pizza’ Eaglebones just looks dubious.)
Jimmy: Or the time Eaglebones bet that you couldn’t get your head inside that shark.
MCBC: Wait, technically I won that one- I had my head way up inside that shark’s mouth.
Jimmy: I just think all this betting makes you look, well, rather foolish.
MCBC: It’s all in fun Jimmy. These little bets never hurt anyone. (Seeing a road sign) Whoa! A Cobraman? Pull over. Pull over, pull over!
Jimmy: We really shouldn’t, Commander. We’ve got to get to Cramtucket.
MCBC: But this one time, in fourth grade there was this kid named Conrad and he bet me that I’d never see a real live Cobraman. I can finally win the bet and get my five dollars back. Come on pull over Jimmy.
(They pull over into an area set up like a carnival. A man in a red wrestling mask and magician’s outfit spots them.)
Wrestlegician: Ohhhh- if I could get my hands on that. I could finally take the Cobraman on the road.
Ricky: Eww. This place is a dump.
MCBC: Correction, Ricky. This place is a dump with a Cobraman. (They walk into one of the tents) Hello? Anybody here? We wanna see the cobraman.
Wrestlegician: Magic!
Ricky: Whoa are you magic?
Wrestlegician: Yesss! I’m Carl. A magician and keeper of the mighty-
MCBC: Yeah that’s great. We wanna see the Cobraman!
Carl: Oh! Man of action I see. Then step right this way gentleman and prepare to behold a being Mother Nature never intended for you to see. The one, the only, -Cobraman! And all it will cost you is…fifty bucks each!
MCBC: Deal. Gold card!
Ricky: No wait!
Carl: Done! Walk this way!
(They do, following him to a tent which they enter.)
MCBC: Get ready Conrad from the fourth grade.
(Once they are all in the tent except Carl, he makes it collapse on them.)
Carl: Magic! Come on buddy.
(Carl and a covered figure get into the battletram.)
MCBC: Hey what’s the big idea? Where’s the Cobraman?
Eaglebones: He’s stealing the battletram.
(As four of them run after the battletram, Jimmy spies a yellow convertible)
Carl: (driving the tram) HAHA! Yeah.
(Running alongside, Ricky tries the door.)
Ricky: It’s locked!
Crash: They’re gettin’ away!
Jimmy: (pulling alongside the panting Aquabats in Carl’s car) Get in.
Carl: Yeah we got it! Finally we can go out on tour. Out of the open road. The truck stop food -the public restrooms- the complete lack of showers! It’s like heaven on wheels!
MCBC: We didn’t even get to see the Cobraman. What a gyp!
Carl: (noticing the car following him) What the-? They stole my car. Those little thieves. Well, they wanted to see the Cobraman. Let’s show ’em the Cobraman! Come on!
(Cobraman uncovers and climbs to observation bubble)
Eaglebones: Look there. On top of the battletram!
MCBC: Whoa! Wouldja look at that thing. In your face, Conrad from the fourth grade. Haha!
Ricky: Look! His hands are snakes!
Eaglebones: I wonder if it can talk.
Crash. You know my grandad used to milk snakes.
(Cobraman shoots snakes at them until they are forced to stop the car)
Eaglebones: (shocked) It’s gone. The battletram is actually gone!
Ricky: Now what do we do?
MCBC: Well that’s it. No battletram. No tour. No job. This is the end of the Aquabats my friends.
Faux-Mercial: Scruffy scruff is your pal!
(Aquabats are lawnscapers)
MCBC: You missed a spot right there. Good. Great.
Eaglebones: Commander, look. It’s the battletram!
MCBC: Those Aquabats were another lifetime ago, Eaglebones. We’ve got real jobs now.
Jimmy: But that guy just stole the battletram yesterday!
MCBC: We’re landscapers now, Robot. We’ve got to let the past go.
Crash: But we’re not even gonna try and get the battletram back?
MCBC: That’s right Crash. We’ve got jobs to do here. Now, go prune the petunias or something.
Ricky: Commander, I’ll bet you these good hedgeclippers that we couldn’t get that battletram back.
MCBC: A bet? You’re on Ricky. Gardeners, to the battletram!
Carl: (playfully interacting with fans exiting the Cobratram) Come on out. It’s the Cobraman. I told you, I told you! Oh and this guy. Look at him go! Tell your friends! Alright! Cobraman making money!
MCBC: Ok Aquabats, we’ll have to sneak on board. Activate stealth mode.
(They all turn their rash guards purple and approach the battletram with extra unnecessary movements. Jimmy types a long pass code and swipes his card at the back door)
(Inside the Cobratram, Carl counts piles of coins.)
Carl: Wait a minute. Cobraman, did you take some of my coins?
(Cobraman shakes his head no)
Carl: Cobraman! Cough it up. There it is.
(In the ‘tram hallway they reach the main door. MCBC makes a bunch of unintelligible hand gestures. They enter the media room and reveal themselves.)
MCBC: What’s up now circus freaks. The game is over.
Carl: Ohhh, but the game has only just begun. Technology! Cobraman attack!
(They spar, Cobraman holds Bones and Ricky by the necks while MCBC gets Carl in a choke hold.)
MCBC: Give it up Mr Donut Pants!
Carl: Not even close. My Cobraman is undefeatable.
MCBC: Yeah right. I could beat that thing with one hand tied behind my back.
Carl: Oh yeah, wanna bet?
MCBC: A bet?
Eaglebones: No no no- don’t bet!
MCBC: A bet??
Carl: Oh a sportin’ man eh? Then I’ll bet you your precious battletram that you can’t defeat my Cobraman in a fair fight.
Eaglebones: No no no no!
Jimmy: No commander!
MCBC: Your on! Yeah!
Carl: Magic!
Eaglebones: Hey, what’d you do with the commander?
Carl: Oh you’ll see. Cobraman tie em’ up. And now watch this, the Aquabats. Beep boop boop boop beep. Technology! (Pauses) What! It’s a cartoooon?
It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: The Aquabats, when last we left, were hurtling toward an unknown planet. Meanwhile down on the planet’s surface a wacko wizard with a bad news blade is about to get stab happy. Right on cue, the Aquabats. Wicked ricochet! The battletram has landed.
Barbarian Man: Free us and your reward will be untold riches.
MCBC: Riches? Let’s do it!
Wizard: Prepare to feel the wrath of my magic dagger.
Narrator: Black magic? Looks like he means it this time. (Eaglebones shoots him with his guitar. Jimmy picks up the dagger.) Curious. The Aquabats free their new friends. See you later trolligator. Awww.
MCBC: The magic dagger.
Jimmy: Yes this dagger is made from a strange metal.
Barbarian Man: He who wields the mighty dagger of Todd commands great mystic power.
MCBC: Todd? Really?
Barbarian woman: Now you must come to our village for a feast in your honor.
(The barbarians sing a gnarly song about being gnarly barbarians as the Aquabats dance and eat.)
Jimmy: Commander, I’ve been testing this magic dagger and it clearly has the power to get us home. Crash? Bones? Anyone?
Narrator: Can our heroes escape the Narbarian party? Tune in next time.
Carl: That’s not what I wanted to show you. Hang on. Beep beep boop technology! (The television screen shows MCBC outdoors somewhere) Ahahahaha! He’s in the desert. That’s bad!
MCBC: What in blue blazes? Where am I? (Cobraman appears) Carl must have magically transported me here to this mystical desert arena in order to battle his half human half cobra hybrid humanoid friend to the death. (To camera) What? It could happen.
(They fight; MCBC tries to escape into the nearby rock formations)
Carl: Aw no! Don’t let him get away. Just bite him already; you’ve got snake hands. Aw no!
Eaglebones: (whispering) Jimmy, we need to bust out of here and help the Commander. He’s no match against that Cobraman.
(Carl shoots a warning glare at Eaglebones for talking.)
Jimmy: Sorry friends. This might be a little unpleasant.
(Jimmy sends his hand to the control panel and triggers knockout gas to flood the room. After everyone has passed out, Jimmy reverses the switch and siphons out the gas.)
(Back in the desert MCBC ambushes Cobraman and manages to choke him unconscious)
MCBC: Sleeper hold! Go to sleep snake man! Go to sleep baby snake! It worked yeah! Woo!
(Jimmy gives a tied-up Carl a tiny electrical jolt to wake him)
Carl: What the-
Jimmy: Where’s the commander?
Carl: You can’t help him. He made a bet. And when he loses, y’all gonna have to pay up!
Jimmy: You’ve already lost the bet! Look.
Carl: What the-? How did he? Why I thought that, but I, awwww man!
(Battletram pulls up to grassy area next to the desert)
MCBC: Hello boys. Glad to see all of you in such fine shape. Oh yeah and by the way- I won the bet Mr Donut-Pants!
Carl: Yeah yeah. Where’s my Cobraman?
Ricky: Yeah, where’d he go?
(MCBC points to a hilltop)
Cobraman: Hahahahaha! I thank you so very much Bat Commander for being such a gentleman and letting me go.
Eaglebones: He can talk!
Cobraman: And Carl do not worry. I shall break you out of prison at my earliest convenience. So for now I shall but thee all adieu.
Ricky: Commander you let him go?!
MCBC: Yeah totally.
Jimmy: And why would you let him go?
MCBC: Because he bet me I wouldn’t …let, him, go… oh boy.
Ricky: Well you can bet we’ll see him again.
MCBC: Yeah I’ll take that bet. Hey don’t we have a world tour to finish?
The other four: Yeah…
MCBC: Well then Aquabats, let’s go!