Previously on the Aquabats Supershow: A couple of these shots in the desert actually look like they might be upcoming on the Aquabats.
Somewhere, just (outside) of Detroit ->
(The Aquabats are stopped at a frozen treat stand next to Detroit City Pineapple Park. Two young kids are playing nearby on the grass. Two older kids approach them looking mean.)
Kid with punk hair: Hey dumb kids.
Smaller Kid #1: Huh?
Kid with punk hair: We’re just wondering why you’re so dumb!
Smaller kid #2: What did we do?
Kid with mullet: Hey shut your dumb face!
(Eaglebones notices the four kids interacting and catches his bandmates attention.)
Pilgrim Boy: (approaching the older two) Prithee pardon me good sirs.
MCBC: (observes) A pilgrim? It’s not even thanksgiving.
Pilgrim Boy: I beseech ye cease these ramshambles outright and depart ye post haste!
Punk: What language is that?
Mullet: I dunno. It sounds like…cursive.
Punk: Yah what’re you gonna do pilgrim boy, make us some oatmeal?
MCBC: (aside) They’re gonna fight.
Eaglebones: Yeah.
(Pilgrim Boy turns himself into a velociraptor and drives off the two older boys. He then changes back.)
Pilgrim Boy: (to the younger boys, who look terrified) I promise those boys shan’t return. And you may now resume your activities in peace and safety.
(the kids scream and run off)
MCBC: Great job little pilgrim homie! We’re the Aquabats, and that was amazing.
Pilgrim Boy: Thank you kind sir.
Crash: Hey you’re a pilgrim; you like turkey, right?
Pilgrim Boy: Oooh! Hoo!
Ricky: We’ve got one roasting back at the battletram. Why don’t you join us for dinner?
MCBC: And then we could play some fantasy football- it’ll be just like thanksgiving!
Pilgrim Boy: I thank thee for thine hosptality and graciousness good sirs. I’ve eaten nought but barley and oats, dried and unseasoned for the past ninety days.
MCBC: Uh sure a-anytime young Pilgrim Boy. Let’s go!
Faux-Mercial:
Snakey snacks (he wants them back!)
Eaglebones: (quietly coaching Pilgrim Boy) Strum and strum -it’s really quite easy. This is the C chord. This is the D chord.
(Ricky and Crash eat turkey in the kitchenette. MCBC and Jimmy play ‘Fantasy Football’ a game involving football, wizards, and dragons.)
Jimmy: (as he loses) Aw man!
MCBC: Haha! Better luck next time Robot.
Eaglebones: Pilgrim Boy? I hope I’m not prying, but I’ve been wondering something. How did you do that before? You know, in the park?
Pilgrim Boy: Oh, you mean change my form into that monster from prehistory?
Ricky: Yeah, are you a superhero or an alien or like…an awesome dude from another dimension??
Pilgrim Boy: No. I’m a shapeshifter. Meaning I can change my form into anything really
Eaglebones: Seriously? Anything?
Crash: How about a monster truck?
Ricky: Or a snake with giraffe legs?
Pilgrim Boy: My friends thank ye for your kindness. But you see it’s excruciatingly painful to shift my shape. Therefore I only do it when it’s absolutely necessary.
MCBC: That is so cool. Can you change into a bucket of purple ice cubes?
Pilgrim Boy: Yes. Surety. Why does everyone always ask for that?
MCBC: Aw come on just do it real quick.
Pilgrim Boy: Alright. If it pleases ye.
(He strains for a moment, then becomes a purple bucket full of purple ice cubes. He reverts to human form a few seconds later. The Aquabats seem impressed. In the background the TV switches to a live feed with some breaking news.)
(from television) President Stuncastin: My fellow citizens of the world, United Nations, friends of the earth; we are facing perhaps our greatest crisis. We are currently doing everything in our power to stop the creature.
MCBC: Mute! Right now I’m more interested in watching Pilgrim boy shapeshift. What else can you change into?
(Pilgrim Boy looks distracted by the news story just muted on TV)
Crash: Can you turn into a winged shark that spits out gold coins?
MCBC: No, Crash- too messy. I mean, who’s gonna want to pick up all those gold coins?
Crash: Oh yeah good point.
Jimmy: Maybe, a motorized bar of soap?
MCBC: Great idea, Robot! Ok Pilgrim Boy…
Pilgrim Boy: I, I, I…I- I, I
All four: Please!!
Pilgrim Boy: (wincing) Ow ow ow-
(He changes into a small white block of soap with wheels and a tiny pilgrim hat.)
All of them: (cheering) Soap! That is too cool! Yeah!
(He changes back.)
MCBC: Smokin! Do you think you can change into a cartoon?
Pilgrim Boy: I might try…
(Guys wriggle excitedly and exclaim as Pilgrim Boy becomes a television.)
MCBC: It’s a cartoooon!
It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When left we last the Aquabats they totally blew up the moon, only to find that Jimmy the Robot was infected with alien parasites. And the only way to save their robot friend is to shrink themselves down!
Eaglebones: We shrunk ourselves into this microscopic battle-shuttle.
MCBC: Yes, Eaglebones we did. (They fly into Jimmy through his nose)
Jimmy: (waking) Friends? My friends have come!…to save me? Oh I’m alone again.
Narrator: Don’t worry Jimmy- your friends are much closer than you think!
MCBC: Look at all these parasites. How do we get rid of em’?
Eaglebones: Commander! If we can just reboot Jimmy’s CPU, it’ll initiate his anti-virus software and destroy any foreign parasite in the system.
Crash: Reboot his sleepy eww and imitate his what?
Eaglebones: (sighs) Turn his brain off and then turn it on again.
MCBC: Wait! Eaglebones. That antivirus will destroy any foreign parasite? Including us?
Eaglebones: Oh yeah. I guess once Jimmy reboots we’ll only have seconds to get out or we’re toast.
Ricky: (glancing at parasites out the window) Uhhh guys? I think we should hurry.
MCBC: To the CPU!
Narrator: Meanwhile outside the battletram a grodey space worm closes in! Wake up Jimmy. Battle damage! Back inside Jimmy’s robot brain the Aquabats reach the CPU. Can they reboot their friend and escape in time? Better act fast commander. (Bat Commander exits the microsub and finds the restart shoves at it but nothing happens) Oh snap!
MCBC: Not working. It’s not working!
Eaglebones: You have hold the button down!
MCBC: I am holding it down!
Eaglebones: No, you’re not.
MCBC: I am holding it down. Look!
Eaglebones: I am looking! And I can clearly see- Commander! Behind you! There are a few parasites!
MCBC: How many is a few?
Eaglebones: Uhhh five hundred or so?
MCBC: Oh crudballs.
Narrator: The Bat Commander surrounded by parasites? A malfunctioning Jimmy attacked by a space worm? Can things get any more dangerous?? Absolutely! Tune in to the next episode!
(Pilgrim Boy turns back into a human. He is visibly tired and uncomfortable.)
Crash: Wait wait wait. What about a clown riding a fifty foot dragon made out of-
Eaglebones: You guys! Look at him. Can’t you see he’s in pain?
Pilgrim Boy: He speaks the truth my friends. Shapeshifting is most unpleasant. Besides aren’t ye heroic champions? Shouldn’t you be marshaling your forces to fight yonder monstrosity?
MCBC: What? Unmute.
President: Thirty minutes ago what can only be described as some kind of giant space cricket was seen moving rapidly outside the city of Detroit, heading for the pineapple plantations. This is a major emergency!
MCBC: Great! A major emergency and this dude over here is distracting us with his silly tricks. Seriously Pilgrim Boy. Mm!
Jimmy: Wait Commander, maybe he can help.
MCBC: Good point Jimmy.
Ricky: I don’t know. That bug looks pretty big.
MCBC: Pilgrim Boy! Change into a giant kangaroo and squash that bug lickety-split!
Pilgrim Boy: That does it-! I’ve had it. ‘Pilgrim boy change into a cow- we need milk.’ ‘Oh Pilgrim boy we need eggs. Change into a chicken.’ Well I’m finished. Herewith! (He goes out the door)
(They all look at one another ashamedly for a moment, then seemingly deciding Pilgrim Boy was teasing, they laugh and head after him. Once outside they cannot find him. The audience can see that he has changed into a caterpillar in the grass.)
MCBC: Hey where did he go? Jeez what’s his problem?
Crash: Yeah, seriously. Touchy.
Jimmy: Why would the shape shifting pilgrim boy leave us at a time when the Detroit pineapple crop was being threatened by a giant potato bug?
MCBC: Yes it makes no sense!
Eaglebones: Isn’t it kind of obvious guys?
Ricky: Uhh no!
Eaglebones: He has to deal with stuff like this all the time. You guys don’t know what it’s like to be different than everyone else.
(Bones sings You Have No Idea, until MCBC cuts him off)
MCBC: Aquabats! Let’s go fight that giant potato bug!
Jimmy: It’s headed for the pineapple plantation.
MCBC: Hang on pineapples. We’re on our way!
Bat Cartoon:
How can Lil Bat sleep with this fly bugging him?!
(The battletram arrives within striking distance of the space cricket)
MCBC: Aquabats attack! Crash, launch missiles at target!
Crash: (speaks into a phone in the battletram wall to launch the missiles…somehow) Roger victor vector. We got a bogey. Fire missiles at target bring the house copy that.
(They watch as the missiles hit, but fail to slow the giant bug’s progress in the slightest. They all look incredulous.)
MCBC: Well that’s it men. I’m afraid we are completely out of options. Let’s accept our fate. It’s been a pleasure working with all of you.
Eaglebones: Not yet commander- I have an idea. (He goes topside to the observation bubble) I SUMMON THE DUDE!!! Dude, find the pilgrim boy- go! Fly Dude, fly! (Dude returns with Caterpillar Boy) Great work dude!
Eaglebones: I’m so sorry Pilgrim Boy. I understand how you feel. It wasn’t right how we were treating you.
Pilgrim Boy: I thank ye for your understanding, Eaglebones. Please forgive me for leaving thee?
Eaglebones: Of course we forgive you Pilgrim Boy. But we could really use your help right now.
Pilgrim Boy: I know what must be done. Hurleth me hither and yon.
Eaglebones: What?
Pilgrim Boy: Just throw me at the bug.
Eaglebones: Oh. Be careful brave Pilgrim Boy.
(Pilgrim Boy lands where the giant bug can see him and changes into a fancier looking pilgrim in sequins and leather.)
Crash: Whoa awesome!
Ricky: I can’t believe my eyes!
(Pilgrim Boy sings a sad song, The World is Passing Us By, which causes the bug fall to down, then explode…somehow. This highly emotional song also makes all the Aquabats break into tears. Actually, I’m surprised Crash remains normal size through all this…)
MCBC: Thank you Pilgrim Boy- for saving the world.
Pilgrim Boy: No thank you the Aquabats, for helping me realize that as heros we must do our very best- even if it means we must endure terrible physical pain.
MCBC: Yeah yeah, hey could you turn into some fireworks? That would really help this moment.
(Pilgrim Boy looks dismayed but blasts off anyway, turning into a spectacular fireworks display as they all wave goodbye.)