Aquabats! Transcript- Uberchaun

Previously on the Aquabats! Supershow!:
This one’s mostly right, except for Crash levitating a rock…

Somewhere, at a three star golf course…
(Written on screen the ‘three star golf course’ appears as ***-golf course)

The group is at a lush, green golf course. All are wearing caps, gloves, argyl socks, and white striped shoes. Jimmy is up. He uses his robotic eyes to estimate distance, swings, and gets within one stroke. The others clap. MCBC is next. As he prepares to swing, a tinny jingle is heard.)
MCBC: Some of us are trying to play golf here.
Crash: (mumbling) turn off my cellphone…
MCBC: Do you even know how important golf is to the world?
Crash: I promise- no more distractions today.
MCBC: (He swings, gets near Jimmy’s shot) What a drive! Haha!
Eaglebones: Alright, Crash. You’re next.
Crash: (Takes several swings but only manages to kick up sod. When he finally hits the ball it goes wild.) Ahh! Stupid golf ball!! AHHHHH! (He grows giant) I stink at this game!!
MCBC: Easy; it’s ok big fella. Relax. Golf is 99 percent mental; one percent exercise! Come on, let’s go get your ball.
(Crash shrinks back down)
Ricky: Hurry up, Crash those old ladies caught up to us again.
Woman golfer Midwest: What’s the holdup you jokers?
Woman golfer’s friend: Maybe you girls should try miniature golf.
MCBC: We’re getting clowned by those old ladies. (The ladies begin launching golf balls at them) Hey!
Midwest: Four!
MCBC: What’s big idea?
Friend: Five!
MCBC: Hey! Ow!
Crash: (in the rough) Little golf ball? Is that you?
Small blue skinned man: Off me you big oaf!
Crash: Sorry little buddy. Uh, did you see a orange ball in here?
Small blue skinned man: Like that one?
Crash: Oh yeah. Thanks guy
Small blue skinned man: Your ball hit me you big nicompoop!
Crash: Oh, sorry ’bout that. I gotta go.
Small blue skinned man: Silence idiot! You will pay for disturbing the almighty Uberchaun! (ground shakes) I curse you! (Hits Crash with purple sparkles, Crash falls down)
MCBC: What’s the holdup, Crash? Whoa, who’s your creepy little friend? No offense.
Crash: I think he’s like a leprechaun or something. He was just about to curse me.
Eaglebones: Hold on. If you’re really a leprechaun aren’t you supposed to give us gold? Or wishes? Or golden wishes!?
Uberchaun: I am NOT a leprechaun!!! I am Uberchaun! (Ground shakes) Now you all be cursed!
MCBC: I don’t feel any different. You guys feeling cursed?
Eaglebones: Nope I’m good.
Ricky: I actually feel…better.
Jimmy: (disappointed) I never feel anything.
Uberchaun: You have one hour to complete three challenges. But if you fail, I add you to my collection. (He pulls a tiny man from his waist pouch to demonstrate his ‘collection’) Hahahahaha.
Ricky: I told you guys we shoulda gone jogging instead of golf. Golf is not exercise.
MCBC: Yes but it is the most classy way to avoid responsibility.
Jimmy: Hear hear!
MCBC: Now what are those three challenges?
Uberchaun: Simply, tie a ribbon to the top branch of an ancient tree. (Makes a ribbon appear for said challenge)
MCBC: That’s it? I got dibs on that one.
Crash: Hey I can help you. I’m awesome at climbing trees.
MCBC: Ooooh sorry. Eaglebones wanted to help me with that. Right Eaglebones?
Eaglebones: Oh, yeah. Totally.
Uberchaun: Next, pull the flag from the thirteenth hole.
Ricky: Mine! I call that one.
Jimmy: I can help you Ricky.
Uberchaun: And lastly, fetch me a cherry soda from the clubhouse vending machine.
MCBC: Hey Crash that’s perfect for you. Cherrry so-da. From a machine?
Crash: All by myself?
MCBC: Yeah it’s easy, right? (He looks to the others for confirmation; they look dubious)
Crash: No, no I can do it. I won’t let you guys down.
Uberchaun: That’s settled. Your hour starts now.
MCBC: Remember: cherry soda. Don’t let us down. (Hands him some change)
Crash: OK!
Uberchaun: But before you go you might want to consider watching this. It’s a cartoooon!

It’s a cartoon:
Narrator: When we last left the Aquabats they narrowly escaped the sinking underwater city with a malfunctioning Jimmy the Robot. Back on board the battletram…
Crash: Alright Jimmy, let’s get you dried off.
Jimmy: The house. La meson. Please do not leave luggage unattended. Unattended luggage will be confiscated and exploded. (One of his finger rockets launches and explodes near Crash’s feet)
Crash: Yaaaa!
MCBC: Ricky, get us off this piece of cheese.
Narrator: Aquabats prepare for blast off!
(Moon cracks and falls apart spectacularly)
Narrator: Eww that can’t be good.
Crash: Dude we totally broke the moon.
MCBC: Do you feel better Jimmy?
Jimmy: (twitching) I, I. I uh I-
Ricky: Commander look! (He points at a tiny black dot jumping near Jimmy’s face)
Narrator: What’s this? A microscopic monster!?
MCBC: Something’s very wrong. Put him in the problem-solver-outer table.
Eaglebones: Commander- this doesn’t look good.
Narrator: No it doesn’t Eaglebones.
MCBC: Cheese and crackers!!
Eaglebones: Jimmy is infected with millions of these weird alien parasites.
Ricky: But where did they come from?
Eaglebones: Hmm, my best guest is the lake.
Ricky: Because lakes are full of gross germs!
Eaglebones: See? (points to a spot near Jimmy’s temple) Look here where he’s damaged. I think that’s how they got in.
MCBC: We have to act fast or we could lose our robot friend forever.
Ricky: Commander, what if we shrink ourselves and fight them from inside Jimmy?
MCBC: (refrains from using crowbar) Maybe. Or even better, we could shrink ourselves and fight them from inside Jimmy! Let’s do it!
All: Yeah!
Narrator: Can the Aquabats save Jimmy from the tiny choppers? Tune in to the next episode!

Uberchaun: You just wasted three minutes of your hour watching a silly cartoon.
Eaglebones: Heyyy you did that on purpose!
MCBC: Curse you Uberchaun.
Uberchaun: No I curse you! Times a wastin’.
MCBC: Aquabats, we got this!
(They sing a song- We Got This!)

(MCBC and Eaglebones ride the golf cart to an open area and look around.)
MCBC: Now where do we find an ancient tree?
Eaglebones: Commander, I can use my eaglevision.
MCBC: Whatever you say Eaglebones.
Eaglebones: There! (points three feet in front of them at an old-looking tree)
MCBC: Let’s do this!

(Ricky and Jimmy jog to the thirteenth hole.)
Ricky: So all we have to is-
Jimmy: -pull the flag out of the hole!
Ricky: This is gonna be cake! (the ground in front of them starts to move) I have a bad feeling about this one. (In front of them, the dirt and sod rises, forming a monster.)
Jimmy: It’s a monster made entirely of grass! (Both scream wildly)

(On his own, Crash runs toward the clubhouse.)
Crash: Cherry soda cherry soda. (He trips, near him is a hole which strange noises come from) What the…? (suddenly Crash is attacked by a pack of fuzzy ground critters resembling tribbles, which attach to him like leeches) Waaaa!! Get these beavers off of me!

(Back to the tree-chasers)
MCBC: Give me a boost Eaglebones.
Eaglebones: Yeah. (He struggles to lift the Commander)
MCBC: Come on Eaglebones, quit messing around.
(As they teeter, the tree smacks them and they fall down)
MCBC: (coughs) I swallowed the ribbon. (The tree runs away) Whoa!!

(On a bridge a couple chitchats.)
Woman: Do you golf here often?
Posh man: I should; I own the place. (Laughs annoyingly)
Crash: (comes running past them, jumps/falls in the water, and the critters let go) Yes!

Uberchaun: He might win. I have to stop him. (He brandishes a large pair of scissors)

(Commander and Eaglebones chase the tree until it finally stops.)
MCBC: Finally. Whoa! (the tree attacks them and strikes MCBC squarely in the chest causing him to spit out the ribbon) Hey I got the ribbon. (the tree continue striking him) Oh! AH! Eaglebones help! Help me! Ow ow!
Eaglebones: That’s it! I SUMMON THE DUDE!! (The Dude sequence plays) Dude, get the ribbon and tie it to the top of that tree
MCBC: The ribbon!
Eaglebones: Great work, Dude
MCBC: Wait, how did you do that?

Bat cartoon:
Lil Bat tries to burn an anthill with a magnifying lens. The ants repay him by chewing him into a skeleton.

(Meanwhile Ricky and Jimmy are getting pounded by the sod monster)
Ricky: Uhh I got grass stained!
Jimmy: Ricky! I have a plan but I need you to distract it.
(Ricky begins throwing golf balls at the monster)
Jimmy: How ’bout a hand grenade? (He turns and looks at the sod beast briefly, looking remorseful and whispers) I’m sorry.
(The sod beast explodes and they both cheer and grab the flag.)

(Crash is still en route to the clubhouse. Uberchaun floats/gloats magically nearby so Crash can hear him)
Uberchaun: Hurry Crash, time is almost up!
(Just as Crash gets to the clubhouse, the two old lady golfers from before step in front of him for the soda machine. Crash fidgets impatiently while they take their time.)
Midwest: How come they make all these dadgum kinds of soda pop nowadays. It all too confusing.
Friend: And look at the prices! In our day it was a nickel a bottle. It’s highway robbery.
Midwest: I could just sit here all day trying to decide.
Uberchaun: (laughs wickedly) Ladies first, Crash. Your time is running out.
Midwest: I think I’ll get the diet prune soda.
Crash: (muttering) Yeah yeah yeah.
Midwest: Oh phooey I seem to be a little short.
Friend: Oh let help you, dear.
Midwest: Thank you. Now what was it I was gonna get?
Crash: Prune soda!! (the ladies look at him with a shocked air) I thought I overheard you saying that you wanted a prune soda. Ma’am.
Friend: (to Midwest) Better make it two.
Midwest: (to Crash) You are so rude!
Friend: And you smell like a wet gopher!
(Crash steps to the machine and reaches in his pocket, but instead of cash he discovers a large hole)
Crash: Oh no! My coins are gone. That’s not fair.
Uberchaun: No moola, Crash? You made it all this way but you misplaced your coins. How did that happen? (Laughs and brandishes scissors) Oh Crash. See what happens when you disturb Uberchaun? You’re going to lose, Crash. You’re as good as mine!

(Uberchaun appears back where they all started with the four ‘Bats who are finished their challenges.)
Uberchaun: What kind of idiot can’t buy a simple can of cherry soda! Haha! Your pal Crash let you down.
MCBC: Ahh man. I knew I shoulda never let Crash do it by himself.

Faux-Mercial:
Slushi, slushi! Gotta have a slushi

(Back to Crash at the vending machine)
Crash: Aw! I let everybody down. I can’t do anything right. I’m just a big doofus. AHH!! (Grows) I am a big doofus! (he picks up the entire soda machine in his hand) One serry choda, coming right up! (He chucks the whole machine across the course)
Uberchaun: (sees soda machine hurtling toward them from the sky) What the? (It lands next to him) No no, Cherry soda? NOOOO!
(All five Aquabats are teleported back to the green. A trophy appears near them.)
Eaglebones: A golden trophy.
MCBC: Crash McLarson- the only person to beat an Uberchaun at his own game.
Crash: No way!
Jimmy: Good job Crash.
Crash: I did it. This is my first trophy!
MCBC: I knew you could do it Crash.
Crash: Thanks for believing in me, Commander.
MCBC: I never doubted you for one second.
Jimmy: Actually commander there were several times that I-
MCBC: Hey everybody, let’s go get slushis!
All: Yeah!

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