I’ve decided to try and make something of the discrepant stories each Aquabat gives as the formation story for the band. I used a system based on the plausibility of the story in question, the likelihood that the Aquabat telling the story might lie about it, and the circumstances under which the story was told. I should probably mention that these rankings don’t have anything to do with how much I like a particular Aquabat or whether I think they can be trusted overall. I’m sure they are all decent individuals. Also this has nothing to do with the actors underneath the Aquabat personas.
MCBC
believability of tale- 3
personality- 2
circumstances of tale- 2
TOTAL 7
MCBC gets a 3 in tale believability because his story falls somewhere in the middle of what I’d consider reality. People really do live on islands and could ride a wooden canoe to another island. Science exists, and an exaggeration of it might be able to acheive all the myriad of abilities that MCBC claims were granted by their mentor. The personality score for MCBC was 2; a three way tie with Ricky and Bones. As a personality type MCBC comes off as somewhat egotistical and self-centered. In my mind this makes him prone to telling tales that might show him in a better light than the exact truth. As to the circumstances surrounding his version of the origin story, they are at the bottom of my rankings. He tells the story to amuse a group of children who are young, impressionable, and probably not prone to fact-checking. The probability that anyone will call him out on the story as fraud, is very low.
Eaglebones
believability of tale- 4
personality- 2
circumstances of tale- 3
TOTAL 9
Bones receives a 4 in believability because the only part of his tale that seems truly incredible is the fact that the bar is specifically for pirates and mutants- something which I can honestly say I’ve never heard of before. His personality score is at the bottom, but this is mostly for lack of evidence one way or the other. While there is obviously a spiritual side to Eaglebones, it is unclear if this means he also has any kind of ‘code of honesty’. We know he can see fairies, and possibly other mystical beings. If any of them are the type to reward honesty and punish lies, he may be more likely to tell the truth, however, this would act as a double edged sword, making it equally likely that he might take the opportunity to lie when he knows they are not around. Bones also gets a low score on the circumstances surrounding the telling of his tale. He is certainly more accountable to his listeners (who are reporters) but at the time ALL the Aquabats have some degree of amnesia. It’s completely possible that he is telling the truth, but also completely possible that he is lying or doesn’t know what the truth is. The other Aquabats seem to corroborate his story, but they are equally compromised and could just be ‘smiling and nodding’.
Crash
believability of tale- 5
personality- 5
circumstances of tale- 4
TOTAL 14
Crash gets rather high marks based on several factors. His believability of story is the highest because it doesn’t feature any fantastical elements; it’s mainly about little kids in school. Crash also gets very high marks for personality. As I’ve stated elsewhere, Crash has some child-like qualities that make him seem a bit immature, but also very genuine. He admits his fears readily, even when doing so might subject him to ridicule from the others. I suspect Crash would have difficulty lying effectively even if he tried. Crash’s circumstancial score is near the top of my rankings, only beaten by Jimmy. This is based on the fact that he tells his story in front of the other Aquabats and the only one to give a very weak protest is MCBC.
Ricky
believability of tale- 1
personality- 2
circumstances of tale- 2
TOTAL 5
Surprisingly, Ricky got the lowest marks in all categories. To begin with, his story is not very credible. Ignoring the fact that dance gangs seem implausible, a gang is still a place to belong and feel accepted. The idea that Ricky would abandon that entirely and lose all his friends and girlfriend based on one bad dance-off seems far-fetched. I’m also not buying that busking drums in the street made Ricky enough in change to open a gym. The sheer magnitude of this discrepancy boggles my mind. His personality gets low marks in terms of believability; as with Eaglebones, this is mainly because of very little evidence one way or the other. Ricky is highly motivated when he decides to be, as evidenced by his dedication to avoiding sweets, however this is a very specific choice regarding health and it does not speak to any other particular virtue. The circumstances under which he told his story are also suspect. He is witnessed by only Rachel Moonbug, who is an adult, and capable of checking the story, however, she states that she doesn’t care about it, therefore the possibility of reprocussions from falsehood is low.
Jimmy
believability of tale- 2
personality- 4
circumstances of tale- 5
TOTAL 11
Jimmy was a bit of a mix. He gets only a 2 in terms of believability. This was mainly because I don’t buy the premise that a man who has the skills to build an android robot to emulate humanity would a) use that robot to work on a farm, and b) himself be a farmer. Yet in terms of honesty I had to grade Jimmy very high. He is a robot and as such presumably he has specific programming that sets limits on his behavior. He states that he is a loving protector of mankind, and his actions back that up. I see it as a strong possibility that honesty is included in this general benevolence towards mankind. The circumstances surrounding Jimmy’s tale are also very favorable. He tells it in front of the other Aquabats and not a single one of them contradicts him. This speaks highly to the honesty of the parts of the story that directly involve the other Aquabats, at the very least.
Conclusions:
My scoring system ranks the Aquabats in this order: Crash, Jimmy, Eaglebones, MCBC, Ricky
Using this order to determine which story is the most trustworthy places the truth with Crash, but I’d like to believe there are reasons the other Aquabats told their versions of the story. There are probably elements of truth to each story. Supposing Crash’s story to be the most accurate, we see that the Aquabats met in elementary school, perhaps kindergarten. They had a confrontation similar to what Crash describes and formed a group. I suspect that this group was short-lived, perhaps lasting only one recess. After a number of years they went their separate ways and most of them forgot about this incident (until Crash reminded them that is). They met again years later by chance. This tale works almost perfectly- almost. The narrative Crash tells includes Jimmy as a child- something in direct conflict with my next-ranked story. Jimmy claims his father built him. As a robot he would never have had a childhood as such and couldn’t have gone to kindergarten with the others. The discrepancy may be explained if we remember that the story Crash told took place long ago when he was very little. It’s possible their rag-tag group did include a child named Jimmy- just not our Jimmy. Crash’s memory on this is probably incorrect. Now we can move to Jimmy’s story and assume that he is correct, the band only found him later, after he answered an ad for a robot who plays saxophone. Looking at my two lowest ranked stories, we have MCBC and Ricky. MCBC tells a completely different story about the group of them hailing from an island paradise- Aquabania. Since this cannot mesh with the other two stories, it is suspect. My first guess was that the story was almost fully fabrication on the part of MCBC, told to quiet the kids and mainly serving to entertain rather than inform. Then again, it is a very detailed piece for him to have come up with on the fly and a stretch for him to have claimed as him own as it conflicts the other stories so completely. I have to wonder if this isn’t some older story, perhaps borrowed from his parents, one or both of whom hailed from Aquabania. We have it as granted from the first season that space monster M is a real entity bent on evil and destruction. Maybe this being visited earth in the recent past and terrorized a remote island as a practice run. MCBC’s parents would have told this story to him in order to teach him about his Aquabanian heritage. This gives MCBC some claim over the story via family history, and may be what prompts him to tell it as his own. Ricky’s story is also questionable, but since his claim includes meeting the others via his gym, it is at least possible that they may have reconnected through membership to a fitness place. This means that Ricky, MCBC, and Crash were the first three to collaborate as adults. Because I have ranked Jimmy near the top in reliability, we move back to his version of the story next. He claims to have joined the band last after recruitment and turned them onto the path to superheroedom. So we now have the trio MCBC, Crash, and Ricky first as a band to only later turn their attention towards fighting crime. Eaglebones himself claims to have met them when they were already a band, so we have some additional support for this theory. Although Eaglebones claims the idea to work against evil was his, this was either a fabrication or possibly confusion due to his memory being compromised. Jimmy completes the group then, as the final member, and we have the Aquabats we know today.