I watched a Garfield and Friends episode with the funniest US Acres sketch. I transcribed most of it:
(Orson, Booker, and Sheldon walking in the forest)
Sheldon- Orson I’m bored!
Orson- But there’s so much to see out here. There are lakes and trees and flowers and birds and fish and the weasel from last season who keeps trying to eat all our chickens and the sky and butterflies and the squirrels. (Orson stops and they all bump into him) Hang on. Did I mention something about the weasel from last season who keeps trying to eat all our chickens?
Booker- Yeah. Right between the fish and the sky.
Orson- (calmly) That’s what I thought.
all- THE WEASEL!
(from offscreen the weasel lassos them and ties them up in about two seconds)
Orson- Just what do you think you’re doing?
Weasel- My card.
Orson- (reading it) The weasel from last season who keeps trying to eat all our chickens. (to Booker) See I TOLD you.
(in the barnyard near the chicken coop Roy is pacing and grumbling)
Wade- Why so perturb-ed Roy?
Roy- Look at this! Page 7 of the script and they FINALLY got Roy and Wade into it.
Wade- (reading) The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster… Roy! Is this episode really called The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster?
Roy- (pulls down the title page from above) Lemme’ check. Yup.
Wade- A- a- an Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster!
Roy- Wade, we haven’t even SEEN him yet.
Wade- He’s ON THE TITLE CARD! That’s good enough for me, HELP! OH, HELP! (runs off)
Roy- I’m gonna call my agent. Page 7 indeed.
(Wade, still running and shouting about the Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster)
Wade- Oh help! (sees the weasel) Are you an incredibly stupid swamp monster?
Weasel- No. My card.
Wade- (reads it) Ohhh…I remember you from last season. (faints)
(Orson, Booker and Sheldon still tied up)
Orson- Oh it’s no use. We’ll never break these ropes. We’ll starve out here and the weasel will get the chickens.
Booker- Things couldn’t get worse.
Sheldon- Don’t say that, Booker.
Booker- Why not?
Sheldon- Because in a cartoon whenever you say ‘things couldn’t get worse’ things ALWAYS get worse.
Orson- How could things possibly be any worse, Sheldon?
Sheldon- Here comes a good example!
all- A swamp monster!
Orson- Can you untie us?
Monster- No, but I can skip rope real good. (unties them and uses the rope as a jumprope)
Orson- He’s how we’re gonna stop the weasel! Come on.
(Roy is on the phone by the chicken coop)
Roy- Whatdaya’ mean this is the only show you can get me on, Bernie? Isn’t Hanna-Barbera casting? Well how about cable? I hear they’re considering doing a funny version of Ren and Stimpy. (Suddenly Roy is captured in a bag by the weasel)
Weasel- Struggle as you will, Rooster. I’m gonna get me some chicken!
(Orson, Booker, and Sheldon come upon Wade who is unconscious)
Orson- Wade, Wade!
Wade- Orson you won’t believe what I thought this episode was called.
(The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster towers in the background)
Wade- (noticing him) Oh, I knew he’d be along. Well, bye again. (faints)
Orson- He’ll be fine. We have to stop the weasel first!
(Orson, Booker, Sheldon and Monster come upon the weasel carrying a sack)
Weasel- What is this?
Orson- His card.
Weasel- He doesn’t even have a fax number!
Monster- Three and nine is alinumium.
Weasel- Yup, that’s an incredibly stupid swamp monster.
Monster- I love to play with weasels. I’m gonna hug you and pet you. (picks up weasel and pets him rather ungently)
Weasel- No, no. Wait! Save me from this incredibly stupid swamp monster! (runs away)
Wade- (just arriving) Is is it safe?
Orson- Wade, meet our new friend, The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster.
Wade- I’m charmed.
Monster- I’m sagittarius. With my temperature rising.
Orson- Lets all go in and have a meal and celebrate our new friend.
Monster- Wasn’t there something else we were supposed to do?
Orson- Relax, I never forget anything.
(later at night, Roy is still in a bag)
Roy- I’m gonna tell Bernie. Two short scenes and then they put me in a bag? I’m walking! Get me on a new show!