I like the Red Green show. Red Green is the name of a guy on the show played by Steve Smith. He’s basically a Canadian hick in a made up town who is the leader of a lodge out in the woods. He and a bunch of other guys like drinking beer, fixing things with duct tape, and being inept outdoorsmen. Red Green’s early inception was as a character on the show Smith and Smith. I recently found clips of his early stuff. I liked one of the monologues so I transcribed it:
Well how’re you doin’ there? I guess you can kinda tell it’s ah, huntin’ season right up here at the lodge (guns in the background drown out his words)
Oh fer…
It’s huntin’ season up here and you know alot of the guys are out there right now trying to trying, givin’ a shot at gettin’ a couple a deer. Then they can pull outa here on Sunday night with a couple hundred pounds of venison you know? Take her on home there, give it all to the brother in law, course he’ll freeze it all up and then throw it in the garbage. And believe me that’s where I’d like to be myself.
But I thought it was more important here that I take a couple a minutes and talk just talk about gun safety.
Because well personally I don’t see how you can be safe without a gun.
I guess most important thing about gun safety is- try to keep your gun clean and dry. Or at the very least dry. The firing chamber now is the chamber where the firing is done- sometimes called the bosses office. You get corrosion and dirt and sometimes a cheese sandwich in there. Really the best way to keep that clean is acourse’ to store the gun with a bullet right in there- just put the bullet in there.
Here’s something I can warn ya about: Stinky Peterson. And also don’t hang loaded guns on the fireplace. These are not loaded back here. (points at the guns over the mantle) We used to keep em’ loaded up and then last fall someone came in here with an emergency case. And acourse’ we drank it. We had a big fire going you know and the chimney got kinda hot and the gall darn guns blew the drapes off. So it was a heck of a time in here.
Another thing too; one of the problems with storing them like that is when you get a gun out you don’t know if it’s loaded or not. The best way to check for that acourse’ is to just take a shot at somethin’ you don’t really care about. Be careful on the tar- on on what ya choose to shoot at though. Last fall now Moose Thompson, he picked a target and it was about ten feet in front of him. I think it was a boulder. Yeah. Yeah it was a boulder and jeez he got her dead center- fantastic shot.
Moose isn’t bad from ten feet. His wife you need to get a little bit farther back. But from ten feet he can hit most anything. Unfortunately he killed the boulder and he took most of it home in his leg. Then the next day Junior Singleton now he was out and he shot a tree and the darn thing fell on him. So just be careful on the target you pick.
Another thing too is I guess just one last thing is a farmer’s fence. You know you’re out there huntin’ and ya come to a farmer’s fence. It’s very dangerous to climb a farmer’s fence or anything of a farmer’s really with a loaded gun but especially a farmer’s fence. In fact what we do is we all just hop in the jeep and drive right through the sucker. Farmer gives ya any hassle just shoot one of his cows. (looks at his wrist) Oh jeez, I see it’s time for me to be savin’ up for a watch. I guess the boys are gonna come bustin’ in here lookin’ for supper so I’d guess I better go find the bottle opener. I’ll just say take her easy and keep your stick on the ice.