Only Precious Roy Quotes

I don’t care what anyone says, Precious Roy is the non-sequiter champ in my book.
(these quotes are all supposed to be promotions for Roy’s shopping channel)

This is precious Roy; I rode the disco dolphin back to Xanadu! (promoting genius in a box kit)

This is Precious Roy; you kids get off my property! (promotion for pirate cripplers)

This is Precious Roy and I just got offered the lead in CATS! (promo for a self-defense kit)

This is Precious Roy and the kids at the pond feed me bread! (selling a laser peeler)

This is Precious Roy and I just ate a handful of honeybees! Buy my soda taffy! (lice monkeys)

This is Precious Roy and I listen to the Indigo Girls! You guys smell like old soup! (squirrel zappers)

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